The Exchange Teacher
by Deepdale
Summary: **COMPLETE**. Yee hah. Hope you liked it.
1. Default Chapter

Title:                 The Exchange Teacher

Author:              Deepdale

Rating:              PG-13

Spoliers:           Very mild for end of Season 5, Season 6 & 7

Summary:         Cassie's new English teacher causes a stir in the lives of SG1.

Disclaimer:        Stargate SG1 and its characters do not belong to me, I just borrowed them a little.  

.                       This story is for entertainment purposes only.

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**Chapter 1.        On Campus**

"Cassie," a voice called out across the campus grounds.  "Hey, cloth ears, Cassie, hold on."

She finally heard, stopped and turned to let the caller catch up.  "Miss Pallister, sorry, I was 

miles away."

"You left your text book.  How would you have written your assignment?"

"I'd have found a way," she grinned.

"Yes I expect you would," Miss Pallister handed her the slim volume of short stories.

"Hey Cassandra," a man strode into view.

"Daniel!" the young girl's face transformed completely with that one word.  Interesting.  From sulky, difficult teenager to something softer, younger, more natural.  He clearly meant a great deal to her.  Which was quite understandable just looking at him.  Tall, well built, nut brown hair cut short but not too short, a half smile turning the corners of his mouth up giving him a friendly look.

"Hey sweetie," he dropped a kiss on her cheek.  Okay.  Not a dirty old man with a girlfriend almost half his age, must be a family friend.  "Your mom's tied up at work, asked me to come pick you up."  Yep, right guess.

"Great," Cassie's eyes shone with delight.  "Can we go for coffee?"

"I guess.  But then homework.  Hello there," he turned his attention to the woman standing beside Cass.  Oh yum, she thought.  Right there with you Cassie, that smile would make me light up too.

"Hello.  Goodbye," she replied.  "See you in class Cassie, and don't forget that assignment."

"Yeah, yeah, see you Miss Pallister.  Oh, and 'cloth ears', how terribly... British," she added with a wicked grin.

"Why thank you, I aim to please.  Enjoy your coffee."

Miss Pallister watched as he threw an arm affectionately around Cassie's shoulders and they headed toward his parked car, which is worth noting was low and lean and very sporty.  Double yum.  Hey Cassie, she felt like calling out, you take my marking and lesson preparation, I'll take your good looking, sports car driving friend.  A fair exchange wouldn't you say...

The car pulled away from the pavement, correction sidewalk with a deep throaty growl and disappeared round the corner.  With a sigh Miss Pallister returned to her classroom, collected the waiting books, bundled them in a holdall and headed home.

Home presently consisted of a room in the campus-housing village, at least as an exchange teacher she warranted a single room and private bath.  Spartan yet practical was about the best description she could come up with for her accommodation.  But as it was only for one academic year it didn't seem worth going to the bother of finding somewhere off campus to rent.  One year to leave behind her oh so messy divorce, one year to put some distance between herself and the main protagonists (ex-husband and his bimbo), and a chance to experience a whole new way of life, teaching aside.

She had hoped after two months in the U.S of A, she might have seen at least some man action.  The plan, drawn up on the long flight from England involved breaking at least one heart a month until, by the end of her exchange visit, her own heart would be whole again and she could get on with living.  Some plan.  With the possible exception of the tasty specimen collecting her most gifted pupil she had yet to find even the first remotely likely candidate for her plan to kick into action.  Femme fatale Jessie Pallister you aren't.

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**Chapter 2.        Shopping**

Campus meals were ok, but every now and then Jessie craved something different, something she could cook for herself and eat in the privacy of her own room instead of the communal cafeteria.  To accomplish this involved a short bus ride to the nearest supermarket and a leisurely stroll down the miles of aisles looking at the multitude of produce available and impulse buying whatever caught her eye.  She loved it, which in itself was pretty sad.  Up and down the 

aisles she drifted, tossing items into her trolley as the fancy struck.

Jessie would probably have walked right by him if his trolley hadn't cannoned into hers.

"I'm so sorry."

"No problem," Jessie smiled in reply.  "Oh, hello again."

"Hello.  It's... Miss Pallister, right?"

"It is.  And you are Cassie's chauffeur."

"Jackson, Daniel Jackson."

"Jessica, Jess to friends."

"Hello Jess," he shook her hand politely.  Nice hand, she noted, warm, dry, firm grip without being too butch and hurting, clean unbitten nails.  Hey, these things are important.

"Daniel."

This time the sunglasses he had been wearing when she met him with Cassie were replaced by simple framed ordinary glasses and she could see he possessed the most intense blue eyes she'd ever encountered.  Oh boy.  Blue as deep as the ocean, as clear as sapphires.  Jessie Pallister was a lost cause.

"So you're Cassie's exchange teacher from England."

"I am indeed.  And are you a doctor like Cassie's mum?"

"A doctor yes, but not medical.  However I do work with Janet up at the air base.  Is Cassie behaving herself for you?"

"We have our good days and our bad."

"Yeah," he agreed.  "It seems like that with all of us these days."

"It can't be easy for her, I mean she is only sixteen and the rest of her classmates are two years older, which at that age can amount to quite a gap on the maturity ladder," Jess pointed out.  "That could explain some of the moodiness."

"Yes," he looked surprised.  "You know I'd never thought about it that way.  Poor Cass, a victim of her own success."

"Partly," Jess didn't want him showering her with sympathy and making the situation worse for all concerned.  Cassandra had chosen to move up to University early, she could have waited for her peers but Cassie just wasn't that kind of kid, she met everything head on including her education. "Partly she's just your average moody, difficult teenager."

"So don't go spoiling her Daniel," he said.

"Exactly."   He grinned and her stomach took a nose-dive.  If the smile had been good the grin was great.

"So, how are you finding being over this side of the Atlantic?" he asked, moving his trolley alongside hers, allowing them to stroll side by side down the aisle.

"Mostly okay," Jess replied, pausing in front of a display of colourful packets.  "But I haven't found a really good strong brand of coffee yet."

"Mm, well maybe I can help you out on that one.  Jack swears by this brand, reckons a really big hit and you can keep going all night," he handed her a packet she hadn't yet tried.

"Jack?" Jess groaned inwardly.  Great.  Sounds like he really is too good to be true.  Gay?  Aaargh.  Why else would a guy talk about another guy with a quirky smile on his face.  Coffee strong enough to keep you up all night.  For what?  Sheesh!

"A friend... mostly.  I work with him too.  He hates paperwork, avoids filing reports until the last possible moment, hence the all night sessions."

"Ah."  Thank God.  Not gay.  Shame on you Jessie Pallister for thinking such things.  She smiled broadly.  "I'll give it a try."

"I hope you don't mind my saying, I couldn't help but notice, that's a strange mix of shopping," Daniel observed, looking at the contents of her trolley.

Jess laughed self-consciously "I know.  Mostly I eat in the student cafeteria but sometimes I get the urge to eat on my own.  I only have a microwave in my room so it is pretty limiting."

"You don't say," he lifted a pack of microwaveable popcorn from her trolley.  "Healthy eating at its best.  So you live on campus?"

"I'm only here for one academic year, it didn't seem worth going to all the bother of finding somewhere else."

"I can relate to that.  I have an apartment here in town but I seem to spend all my time up at the base.  I bet your cafeteria is way superior to our commissary delights," he joked.

"I sometimes wish I had somewhere to get away from all those young, healthy boisterous students with all their lives ahead of them, they can make one feel old, but, I'm ashamed to admit I tend to get lost in town."

Daniel grinned again and Jess's stomach did that funny flip-flop again.  "Easily done."

Jess glanced at her watch, "I'd better get a move on, I have a tutorial in an hour.  It was nice meeting you Daniel."

"And you Jess.  Enjoy your coffee and popcorn."

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**Chapter 3.        A Question**

"Daniel, I'm curious."

Daniel glanced up from the text he was translating and smiled warmly at his favourite doctor.  "Curious, yes you often are."

Janet ignored his joke, "I'm curious about Cassie's English teacher."

"Jess?"

As in Miss Pallister.  Jess?"

"Her Christian name," he was being deliberately obtuse.

"And you would know this how?" Janet took the seat opposite and watched him closely.

"Because she told me."

"Yes? Come on Daniel."

"Janet," he removed his glasses and polished the lenses, checking them for imaginary marks, a delaying tactic she knew of old and was not going to allow to deflect her from her objective.   "I happened to bump into her shopping.  She struck me as a very pleasant woman, a long way from home and without many friends.  I know how that feels.  Then I happened to mention I'd met her to Cassie, that is all."

"Are you planning on seeing her again?" Janet wanted to know.

"Only if we happen to be in the same shop at the same time."

"Daniel you are impossible.  You liked her?"

"I barely know her, and stop before you start.  I know that look."

"What look?" She asked, a picture of innocence.

"No match making.  Janet I mean it.  I'm not... I don't..."

Janet smirked but wisely held her tongue.  She would do what she would do with or without his blessing.  It was long enough now since Shar'e died, and barring one brief moment with Kira/Linea he had made no effort to move on.  Time for a little outside help.

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**Chapter 4.        Janet's Birthday**

Jess smoothed down her skirt for the hundredth time as she sat in the back of the cab speeding down the darkened streets to her destination.  Why, oh why had she agreed to this?  It was insane.  Okay so she now knew Cassie's mother, Janet, and liked her very much.  The evenings she had spent with the pair in their pretty little home had been both fun and comfortable, she thought of them both as friends, which in turn helped her to feel a little less homesick.

But Janet's birthday was a whole different kettle of fish.  Just a small group of close friends Janet had said in the phone, you'll have a great night, guaranteed.  Yeah, right.

The cab rolled to a halt.  "We're here lady," the driver prompted.

"Thank you," Jess handed over the fare and stepped nervously onto the sidewalk.  Perhaps she should just turn around and head for home before anyone even knew she was there.

No such luck.  Cassie was hovering just inside the door to the restaurant and opened it for her.  "Hey Miss P... sorry, Jess.  Mom thought you might lose your nerve."

"And you're here to make sure I don't?"

"Something like that," the young girl grinned.  "Come on back, everyone else is already here.  Don't look so nervous, you're gonna have a great time I promise.  These guys are like my family, I know you'll love them."

Cassie led her through to the rear of the restaurant and a table surrounded by people.  Jess took a deep breath and looked again.  There were in fact only five people sitting at the table, not such a crowd in reality.

"Jess, you kept your nerve," Janet smiled up at her.  "I'm really glad.  Sit down.  Jack move, make room there please."

"Napoleon," he muttered.

Jess blinked.  Had he just said?  Had she heard right?

"I'm choosing to ignore that," Janet told him.  "Now let me make the introductions.  I'd like you all to meet Jess, Cassie's English teacher, over here for one year on an exchange programme.  Jessie this is Sam, Jack, Teal'c and of course you already know Daniel."

"Hello again," Jess turned to Daniel.  "I had no idea you would be here tonight."

"Ditto.  How was the coffee?"

"Perfect thanks."

"Good."

"Daniel?" Jack raised an eyebrow Teal'c fashion.  "Is there something you perhaps would like to share with us all?  Like, oh for instance, how you know Cassie's English teacher?"

"I don't think so, no," Daniel replied completely straight faced and then winked at Jess.  "Don't mind him, he's under the misapprehension that he's in charge."

"Misapprehension eh?" said Jack.

"O'Neill is our commanding officer," said Teal'c, ever the literalist.

"Don't mind any of them," Sam told her with a faintly exasperated look on her face.  "They tend to fall into this corny routine and won't take our kidding that it really isn't funny.  Just ignore them and they'll soon get bored with it."

"Okay," Jess said faintly.

"Teal'c," Jack put on his most 'I'm in command here people' voice.  "I order you to take Daniel round the back of this establishment and beat the crap out of him for holding out on us."

"Certainly O'Neill.  How many limbs do you wish breaking?" Teal'c's face was so deadpan Jess was worried for a moment he might actually carry out the threat.

"All of 'em."

"Enough both of you," Janet's voice silenced them.  "This is my birthday and I forbid all violence."

Daniel squeezed Jess's hand briefly, noting the mounting look of horror on her face, "It's just their idea of humour."

Sam returned with a jug of beer, five glasses and a Coke for Cassie.

"So Jess," Jack turned his attention to the newcomer, "You teach our little Cassie do you."

"For my sins," Jess replied.

"And is she a total pain in the butt for you the way she is for all of us?"

"Jack!" Janet and Cassie exclaimed simultaneously.

"What?" he looked at them.  "What did I do?"

"Don't act dumb, it doesn't suit you," Cassie scolded.  "And I am not a total pain in the butt."

"Sez you."

"Drink sir," Sam slapped a glass in front of Jack and scowled at her CO.  "What the Colonel means is, is Cassie working for you?"

Jess took a swallow of her ice-cold beer.  "I think you can safely say Cassie and I have reached an understanding."

"What did you have to bribe her with?" asked Daniel.

"A trip to England," said Jess with a grin, damn but the man was quick on the uptake.

"Cool!" said Jack.  "Can I go too?"

"No you can't," Cassie told him.  "I want to enjoy myself, not have you checking on me every five minutes.  You've been to England haven't you Daniel?"

"A long time ago."

"Where?" Jess asked, keen to have at least the slightest contact with home.

"Oxford.  I carried out some of my doctorate research there."

"Lucky you, I would have loved to study somewhere so grand."

"Oxford is a beautiful place, steeped in history and the most amazing traditions.  Did you know for instance..." Daniel began, only to be cut off by Jack.  "No Daniel, nor do we want to.  Let's not delve into the fascinating historical culture of anywhere tonight or I may be forced to shoot you."

And so it went on.  For the most part Jess sat back and let the group of friends gentle banter wash over her.  They all knew each other so well.  Sam and Daniel could finish each other's sentences; they teased each other affectionately, more like brother and sister than workmates.  Jack liked to act the clown but she wasn't fooled, he was very much their leader and the humour was simply a mask to hide his inner will of iron behind.  And Teal'c, he was certainly an enigma, 

the strong silent type.  Jess couldn't figure if he really took things as literally as he seemed, taking everything said strictly at word value, or if that was his particular brand of humour.

Mostly she watched Daniel, and that didn't go un-noticed by anyone sitting round the table, except maybe Daniel, and he was incapable of noticing far less subtle approaches by the opposite sex.  Janet and Cassie watched her watching him.  Janet noted the number of times Daniel drew her casually into the conversation, Cassie noted the reaction Jess had to that heart stopping smile of his and how her eyes sparkled with enjoyment as the night progressed.  They 

had been right to bring the pair together and were determined not to see their careful planning go to waste even if it meant further interference, of the discrete kind naturally.

The party only broke up when the restaurant staff began unsubtly putting chairs on tables all around them in anticipation of calling it a night.  Coats and jackets appeared the instant they stood up and waiters helped them off the premises.

"I have had a lovely evening, thank you," Jess pressed her cheek to Janet's.  "I'm glad I didn't lose my nerve."

"We'll do it again," Janet promised.

"That'd be good.  I don't feel quite so far from home tonight."

"That's great."

"Only if I was at home my car would be here.  How do I get hold of a taxi, sorry cab, at this time of night?"

Janet stared at Daniel.  "Isn't the university campus on your way home?"

"Yes, and for your information I was just about to offer to run Jess home."

"No," Jess looked horrified, "I can't ask you to do that, I'm fine, I'll get a cab and be home in no time without putting anyone out."

"Daniel placed a hand in the middle of her back and moved her toward his car, "It is not out of my way, it is not a problem and I have not been pressured into this.  Now get in the car."  He stopped, looked at Jess then the rest of his friends.  "I have been spending way too much time with Jack."

"And that is a bad thing why?" Jack wanted to know amidst the general sniggers.

Jess slid into the passenger seat of Daniel's gorgeous little sports car, snapped on her seatbelt and held her breath as he pulled away from the kerb, the engine purring like a big cat, the interior dark and intimate.

"Relax," he said.

"How do you know I'm not?" Jess countered.

"Try breathing."

"Oh!" Jess laughed.  "Yes, in, out, in, out, something like that isn't it?"

"Something like that," he agreed.  "You had a good night?"

"I did.  Unexpectedly.  Janet and Cassie have been lovely of late, inviting me home for meals and just general evenings with them.  It's been a big help."

"Very homesick?"

"Mm."

"It's natural," he assured her.  "Being cut off from everyone you used to know can be pretty tough, but you make new friends, a new life, and sometimes that life can be far better than the one you left behind."

"You sound as though you're speaking from experience," Jess observed.

"I am."

The journey home was over much quicker than the trip to the restaurant.  Daniel pulled up as close to the living quarters as vehicles were allowed and killed the engine.

"Thank you for the lift," Jess popped her seatbelt and reached for the door handle.

"You're welcome.  Jess," he hesitated.

"Yes?" she turned to answer.

"D'you think we might, I mean if you've got nothing better, perhaps..."

"I'd love to see you again," she grinned at him.

"This is not a situation I have much experience in," he admitted sheepishly.

"Me too.  Here," she scribbled the number of her mobile phone on a scrap of paper.  "Call me."

"I will."

"Goodnight Daniel."

"Goodnight Jess."

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**Chapter 5.        Daniel's Apartment**

"Daniel," Jack stuck his head round the door to the younger man's workroom.  "Fancy pizza and a beer at my place tonight?  Teal'c wants to watch yet another Star Wars video, the Phantom something or other.  Doesn't do much for me but the big fella enjoys them."

"Sorry Jack, I have plans," Daniel glanced at his watch.  "In fact I'm going to be late."  He pushed his papers together and switched off the desk light.

"Another date?  Daniel you dog, must be the second this week," Jack teased.

"Third to be exact," came the reply.

"Well good for you," Jack slapped his friend on the back.  "It's about time, and I like Jess, hell we all like Jess.  It is Jess right?  British girl, hair the colour of old gold, excellent accent?"

"It is," Daniel smiled at his commanding officer.  "Old gold, how unexpectedly poetic of you."

"Hey, just because I don't doesn't mean I can't," Jack faked a confused look.  "Or something like that."

Daniel reached for the overhead light switch, "Well to finish your poetic moment for you, she also has eyes the colour of slate and a tiny mole at the corner of her mouth like an old fashioned beauty spot."

"She sounds way too good for you."

"Oh she is," Daniel agreed.

"Wanna share?"

With you, no.  I already have to share her with all her students and Cassie and Janet..."

"Okay, go, have fun, take her somewhere special."

"Is that an order?"

"Damn straight," said Jack.  "Get outta here."

In the month since Janet's birthday Daniel had spent a considerable amount of his down time with Jess, and plenty of off-world time thinking about her.  He knew it was insanity to even contemplate a relationship with the type of life they led.  Who better than Daniel knew the cost of becoming emotionally involved with anyone.  The pain of Sha're's death had diminished to little more than a dull ache in those lonely hours of the dead of night.  The loss of Sarah was still raw.  Somewhere, out there was a woman he once loved, and now she was carrying out who knew what kind of atrocities to countless worlds.  And he would feel responsible for the rest of his days.  So far his relationship with Jess was purely platonic and she seemed quite happy with that.  Daniel got the feeling, although nothing had ever been said, that she had her fair share of pain clouding her past as well.  It was getting harder to remain casual; his thoughts 

were wandering more and more into the realms of what if.  What if I kissed her, what if I told her about Sha're, what if I opened my eyes in the morning and she was still there...

The elevator eventually deposited him at ground level, a cursory check of his ID and he was out in the chill December air.  Down the mountain, taking extra care on the sharp corners, black ice was always a hazard at that time of year.  Fortunately the campus was on the same side of town as the base and Daniel was soon pulling into the now very familiar car park.

Jess was in the library, as he knew she would be, it was her refuge in an otherwise busy, noisy world.

Daniel!" the smile transformed her face and made all his 'what if's' coming rushing back.  Maybe he had been alone too long and maybe, just maybe now was the time to move on and live again.

"Jess."

"You look frozen."  Jess pressed her hands to his cheeks.  "You are.  Is it really so cold out there?"

"Dropping every second.  Ready to go?"

"Sure."  Jess pulled on her thick winter coat, scarf, hat and gloves, slid the book she'd been reading into her backpack and hand in hand they hurried from the warmth of the library to the fast cooling car.

Jess was excited.  Tonight she was going to Daniel's apartment for the first time.  She had mentioned in passing that it didn't really feel as though Christmas was approaching as she hadn't been able to put up any decorations.   So Daniel had taken her to the mall, helped pick out a tree, lights and decorations and tonight they were putting it all together at his place.  It was the first time he had made any effort for Christmas for more years than he cared to remember.

"We're here," he said at last.  "Home."

"Nice," Jess climbed out of the car and took a look around her.  An old apartment building of red brick, big windows, balconies on the upper floors looking out over an open space of immature trees planned to ultimately mask the bare lines of a car park.  An express elevator whisked them to the top floor where Daniel opened the door to his home.

Jess stood in the centre of the open plan living area and slowly circled.  From the front door there was a short passageway leading to a couple of steps up to the dining area, through an arch she could see a small functional kitchen, pans hanging from a rack on the ceiling.  But it was the living room that Jess fell instantly in love with.  Big sofa, a huge glass fronted bookcase and even small piano covered with sheet music and a couple of open books in what looked to be a foreign language.  And on every available surface, including the walls, there were artefacts, an eclectic collection covering a variety of cultures, some Jess recognised, Egyptian in the main, and many more she didn't.  Glass panelled doors led through to a study complete with an impressive array of state of the art computer technology.  There was only one closed door, back toward the kitchen, which Jess assumed (correctly) led to his bedroom and bathroom.  A fantastic home.

"This is amazing Daniel, it's wow!  And what a view."  Beyond the French windows leading to the narrow balcony the night was lit by a thousand street lights burning orange-yellow and away in the distance a ring of black mountains, the snow capping the range faintly visible against the darkness.

"You know, I can't remember the last time I even noticed the view," he admitted.

"Well come and look at it now," Jess held out a hand and drew him to her side.

As she continued to be entranced by the view Daniel preferred to look at her.  Still bundled in all her outdoor clothes she looked undeniably cute, the silly hat, multicoloured with ear flaps and pompoms was hiding most of her glorious hair, all except one shoulder length curl which was sticking out at the side.  With a quick movement he pulled the hat from her head and her hair flew every which way, tossed into life by static electricity.

"Hey!" Jess pulled her gloves off and tried to smooth her naturally wayward hair into some semblance of order.

Daniel tucked a lock behind her ear and without thinking let his fingers trace the line of her jaw down to her chin.  Jess jerked out of reach.  That was unexpected.  She was then completely blown away when he stepped closer and kissed her, lightly, tentatively.  "Sorry," he pulled back that time.  "You just looked so..."

"Do it again," she asked.

"I don't know."

"I do," catching hold of his scarf Jess pulled him back to her and this time she kissed him.  "That felt good," she said eventually once they broke apart to breathe.

"I think we need to keep practicing," said Daniel with a lazy grin.

"I'm inclined to agree.  After," she pushed away his hands as he moved to draw her back.  "Tree comes first."

"This is you being a teacher, right?"

"Right.  Now, where are we going to put it?"

"The corner by the study door," he suggested.

"Yes, that works," Jess pulled off her outdoor clothes.  "Let's get started."

"I think I'm very glad I'm not in any of your classes."

"Wuss."

It took over an hour before Jess announced herself satisfied with the tree and all its decoration.

"Well I for one am glad it only happens once a year," said Daniel, throwing himself onto the sofa.  "I'm exhausted."

"I'm starving.  What's to eat?" Jess sank down next to him and laced her fingers through his.

"Where would you like to eat?" he asked.

"Here would be good."

"Ah.  Slight problem with that, very little in the way of comestibles."

"Eggs?"

"Possibly."

"Bread?"

"Definitely."

"Sorted," Jess lifted a stray piece of tinsel that had managed to wedge itself between his glasses and his ear.  "Scrambled eggs on toast, a speciality of mine."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather eat out?"

"No way, because then I wouldn't be able to do this," Jess moved closer and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I understand."  Daniel's arms crept round her and his mouth found hers more than ready to welcome him back.  Food was forgotten as they slowly explored one another, moving their relationship forward from the earlier tentative kisses to something more physical, no words were needed, their bodies did the talking.

"D'you think," said Daniel hesitantly as he traced the outline of her lacy white underwear against her creamy skin, "We might be more comfortable in the bedroom?"

Jess went still in his arms.  "I don't know Daniel."

"Okay," he kissed her lightly.  "Forget I said that."

She placed a hand over his heart, enjoying the smoothness of his skin.  Jess wanted to say yes, throw caution to the wind and get naked with this man.  It wasn't his fault she had hesitated; she couldn't go blaming him for another man's failings.

"I was married," she told him.  "To a man I loved and trusted.  He betrayed me.  He hurt me badly.  Now I'm divorced and I can't help but be wary, nervous.  It's not you it's me, it's a trust thing."

"I had a wife," Daniel stroked her faintly freckled skin as he spoke.  "Sha're.  She was young and so innocent, naive if you will.  Her people lived pretty much in isolation, they had never seen so many of the things we take for granted in our lives.  I loved her more than I thought it possible to love anyone.  Then an enemy of her people stole her away from me.  I took this job with the military in an attempt to find her."

"And did you?" she asked quietly.

The pain on his face told her better than any words.  "Eventually.  He had taken her as his own, she had his child and I finally found her in time to see her die."

"I'm so sorry."

"I spent so long believing she would one day come back to me, it's taken a long time to accept she is finally gone."

Jess spread her fingers over his heart, "Is that offer still open?"

"Which?"

"The one involving your bedroom?"

"Always," came the reply.

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**Chapter 6.        Christmas**

Daniel woke on Christmas morning to the smell of coffee percolating and the muted sounds of another human being moving around his home.  Rolling over and stretching lazily he grinned to himself.  Who'd have thought it possible in just a handful of days to tear down all the carefully erected barriers that kept him safe from emotional attachment and let someone completely into his heart.  Because there could be no doubt that's right where Jess had wound up, in a heart he had thought incapable of ever feeling love again.  And damn but it felt good.

"Hey sleepy head," Jess appeared carrying two mugs of her extra strong coffee.  "Happy Christmas."

Daniel took in the view.  With her red-gold hair all mussed from sleep and face free of make-up she looked no older than Cassie.  Until you added in the wonderful body, the high full breasts, the gentle swell of her hips and that oh so sexy walk.  Then you knew for sure she was all woman.  Even in snugly Snoopy pyjamas.

"Come back to bed and it could be," he pulled the covers down.

"Too much to do," came the reply.

"You've plenty of time," he assured her.  "Come on."

"Just for a minute," Jess compromised and crawled back into the nest of covers still warm from the heat of his body.

Daniel rolled to pin her beneath him and slowly worked the buttons on her pyjama jacket free.

"I really have got lots to do," Jess protested.

"So have I," he replied.

"Okay, okay, you win," she gasped as he continued his attack.

"Lose the pj's," he suggested.  "I want my Christmas present."

With a quick wriggle Jess was naked in his arms and Daniel's Christmas was getting better and better.  "Live with me," he managed to say as Jess's gave as good as she was getting.  "Jess I really need you to live with me so I can start my day this way a lot more often."

Jess paused to look closely at him.  "Ask me again when we're not in bed.  Offers made during sex don't count."

Daniel pinned her under him, "Why not?" he asked.

"I got married after the last offer I accepted in this kind of position."

"Ah," Daniel moved against her and she arched to meet him.  "I'll remember that."

"You do," she gasped.  "Oh God!"

Jess returned the turkey to the oven and turned to find Daniel right behind her, hair still wet from the shower.

"Is now a good time?"

"A good time for what?" Jess was too wrapped up in her lunch preparations to follow his train of thought.

"To ask you properly.  Live with me, give up that little room of yours and water my plants when I'm away."

"You don't have any plants," she pointed out.

"I'll buy some."

"It's too soon Daniel, six weeks, not a good idea."

"Listen," he pulled her into his arms.  "Six days, six weeks, six months, what does it matter?  It either feels right or it doesn't, and this feels pretty near perfect from here.  I'd like to give it a try," he stroked her hair.  "Take this risk with me."

"Daniel," Jess buried her face in his neck.  "I want to."

"Was that a yes?"

"I think so, let's take a risk."

There was a hammering on the door.  Jess jumped, Daniel groaned.  "Jack's here."

"How do you know it's him?"

"Trust me, I know," Daniel kissed her.  "We'll talk more about this tonight."

"Hey Danny boy, and the lovely Jess, having a good Christmas?" Jack breezed in, arms full of colourful packages.  "Wet hair Daniel?  What have you been up to?  No, don't tell me, I'll only get jealous."

"Good to see you too Jack," said Daniel.

"Smells great in here," Jack inhaled deeply.  "Reminds me of Christmas at home as kids.  Jess, leave him, be mine, feed me this well every day.  I'm not getting any younger you know, I need someone to care for me."

"You need locking up," Daniel observed.

"It may just smell good and taste awful," Jess pointed out.  "Ask me again when you've eaten and I'll consider it."

"Yes ma'am.  Where's the beer?"

"Fridge.  Help yourself," said Daniel, buckling briefly under the weight of Jack's gifts as they were unceremoniously dumped on him.   "Thanks."

"No, no, thank you," came the reply.

Another knock at the door and Jess answered while Daniel dumped the gifts under the tree.  This time Sam Carter and an older man came in.

"You must be Jess," he clasped her hands warmly.

"And you must be Jacob.  It's good to meet you.  Hello again Sam, Happy Christmas."

"You too."  Sam noticed the tree and the carefully decorated dining table.  "Wow!  Spot the woman's touch, I've never been any good at this kind of stuff."

"Always too busy trying to be a better man than the men," observed her father wryly.

"Thanks dad.  This place looks fabulous Daniel."

"Jess has accomplished many amazing things round here," he agreed, hugging Sam.  "Happy Christmas Sam.  And to you Jacob."

Lunch over, table cleared, Cassie and Janet called to exchange presents and then bundled Jess and Sam into their coats insisting on an invigorating post pig out walk.  Snow had started falling lightly and for all Cassie tried to be a sophisticated young woman she couldn't resist the pull of snow.

"Don't you just love Daniel's apartment," Cassie was saying whilst trying to catch a snowflake on her nose.  "It's way cool."

"Yes it is great," agreed Jess.

"And you looked very comfortable," Cassie went on; deliberately avoiding her mothers warning glances.  "As if, I don't know, as if you've been spending a heap of time there."

"Cassandra," Janet warned her.

"I'm just saying mom."

"Well don't."

"Actually," Jess confessed.  "I could do with some advice from you guys."

"Sure," said Sam.  "How can we help?"

"Daniel has asked me to move in."

"Alright!" shouted Cassie.  Janet shot Sam an 'uh oh' look.

"Are you going to?" asked Janet.

"I think yes."

"Has he told you...?" Sam began.

"About Sha're yes, and he knows all about Will."

"Will?" Cassie wanted to know.

"My ex-husband."

"What about his work?" Sam continued, it had been the question she was going to ask in the first place.

"He's an archaeologist, works for the military and is often away from home," Jess laughed self-consciously.  "Sometimes I think I've fallen for James Bond, I mean what could an archaeologist possibly do for the military?"

"You would be surprised," Janet's reply was nothing if not cryptic.

"Well I think it's great," announced Cassie, linking her arm through Jess's.  "I can't believe he found the nerve to ask you so soon, he's normally so... reticent."

"What about your job?" Sam continued.  "I thought you were only here for a year."

"The Dean has offered me a position on the faculty which I'm thinking over."

"It's very quick," Janet said.  "Don't get me wrong, I think you've done wonders for Daniel, but you've both had bad experiences..."

"And living with someone in our line of work isn't easy," Sam continued.  "There's no set routine to our days, sometimes we can be on base for weeks on end, other times we can be away for weeks, months.  Think you can handle that?"

"I'm used to my own company, and of course I'll worry while he's away, that's only natural, but I won't know if I can truly handle it until I try it for myself."

"Then go for it," Sam said, surprising the hell out of Janet.  Sam smiled self-consciously.  "Don't look at me like that.  Sometimes I wish I could find someone to take the plunge with, have someone looking forward to me coming home nights."

"And then trying to convince you to give up your career and have babies and that kind of life instead so you'd be the one at home waiting for him," Janet added.

"You old cynic," Sam teased.  "There must be Mr Right for me somewhere."

"Maybe you're looking in the wrong place," Janet suggested cryptically.

"Thanks Janet."

Daniel pushed Jack further up the couch and sank into the cushions.  He was full from lunch and just a touch sleepy, it felt good.

"You're one lucky guy," observed Jack, eyes closed, long legs stretched out in front, just as full and as sleepy as his friend.

"She is a fine woman," agreed Jacob.

"I've asked her to live with me," Daniel told them.

"That's a big step Danny boy," Jack opened his eyes and looked at the younger man.  "You sure you're ready for that level of commitment, or was it just one of those heat of the moment proposals?"

"She said no in the heat of the moment."

"Too much information," said Jacob.

"You know you'll have to tell Hammond," Jack pointed out.

"I need his permission to live with Jess?"

"She'll have to be vetted," Jacob told him.  "Standard procedure in our business."

"And she is only here on an exchange, you sure you want to go through all that for a short term relationship?" asked Jack.

"The head of faculty has already offered her a tenure."

"Really?  Way to go Jess," Jack was impressed.  Clearly this young lady had made an impression on a number of people since her arrival, including him.

"I want this Jack," said Daniel.  "She's an amazing woman, it feels right and you know I wouldn't say that lightly."

"Okay, so what about work?" Jack wanted to know.

"What about it?"

What Jack wants to know," said Jacob, "Is what have you told her about your current occupation?"

"Next to nothing," Daniel replied.  "It hasn't come up in conversation."

"It will," Jacob assured him.

"You've both been in this kind of situation with non-military wives, what did you do?" Daniel asked.

"Not the best person to ask," Jack told him.

"Me neither," added Jacob.  "Made a bit of a mess of that one.  Keeping secrets is not conducive to a healthy relationship."

"So then I'll tell her everything."

"Steady on there Skippy," Jack warned him.  "You can't.  What happens if she decides when you've spilled your little guts out to her that she doesn't want anything further to do with you?  Do you think it wise to have a civilian loose cannon roaming around who knows all our sordid little secrets?"

"I think she is an intelligent woman," reasoned Jacob, "Who will be able to handle a certain amount of information, enough to satisfy her curiosity.  But that cannot happen until George gives you the all clear and then you need to be straight with your story.  Now enough, you're taxing this old man's grey matter too much, I need to sleep."

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**Chapter 7.        An Official Function**

"How do I look?"

Daniel glanced up from the book he was reading.  "Wow."

"Good wow?"

"Oh yes.  Turn round again."

Jess obliged.  The delicate material of her outfit whispered as she moved, the slit to the knee at the back of the skirt gave a brief flash of pale black stockings and spike heeled sandals.  Daniel was entranced.  She looked so sophisticated with that glorious hair piled high in her head leaving tiny ringlets to frame her face, her skin shone against the dark material of the dress, even the faint covering of freckles on her nose and shoulders seemed to glow with an ethereal 

light.  And the dress.  Jess had agonised over spending so much on just one gown but to his mind it was worth every cent and more.  So simple and yet so effective.  Thin straps, boned bodice accentuating her breasts, giving her an enviable cleavage highlighted further by the subtle necklace, the pendant resting just at the top and inviting ones eyes to drift lower.  Well any healthy male wouldn't be able to resist Daniel was sure.  From her breasts the dress moved on 

down to her tiny waist and the straight skirt beyond.  Yes Jessie Pallister you would do very well indeed.

"I am going to be the envy of every man there tonight and all the women in their boring dress uniform's are going to hate you."

"Thanks," Jess looked horrified.  "I don't want people hating me."

"It was a joke," Daniel lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed each finger, afraid to get any closer in case the urge to find out what underwear was hiding under that dress became too great to withstand.  "You look beautiful.  Maybe we could stay here instead."

"Sounds good to me," Jess was quick to agree.

"Come on you big brave thing you, let me show you off to all the anal retentive soldier types I work with, let me gloat for just one night."

Jess grinned at him, "So you're just using me to improve your street credibility?"

"Naturally."  Daniel handed her the matching wrap, her tiny evening bag and they were ready to make the journey back up the mountain.

The official function was the result of a treaty being signed between the President of America and the Tok'ra.  From what Daniel had told Jess she understood the actual treaty signing was some months previous, however circumstances at the time had not allowed for a celebration, someone they all knew and respected had died, the details Daniel had kept deliberately fuzzy.  She had grown to accept that.  Jessie knew full well there was a great deal more to Daniel's 

work than he was at liberty to tell her.  She knew there would always be things they couldn't share and she had accepted that.  From what he had been able to tell her she decided her initial joke about falling for James Bond perhaps wasn't so far off the mark.

So what did she know?  That Daniel was a member of a small team, SG1, who travelled through space using an alien piece of technology found during a dig in Egypt in the 1920's.  She knew all the other team members, Sam, Jack and Teal'c.  Janet was mostly earth bound dealing with unexpected accidents, illnesses and the occasional plague they inadvertently brought home.  Cassie was not her natural daughter rather a child from another planet used by an enemy of earth and rescued by SG1.  Teal'c was also not from earth, hence the strange marking on his forehead.  Daniel's life with Sha're had happened off world, he had chosen to stay with her rather than return after the very first mission through the 'gate'.  And none of this could she share with another person, ever.

This was her first visit to the base, to meet some very important people and to say she was nervous was an understatement.  Through an arched entrance guarded by soldiers with very big guns and into a huge floodlit parking area.  At a glance she recognised Jack's truck and Sam's vintage car.

Turning the key to silence the engine Daniel looked across at her, "You are going to be fine, I promise.  Just remember that many of the Tok'ra prefer to let their symbiote do the talking, Jacob is still human enough to choose to be the one doing the talking when around us.  So apart from their voices they're not so very different to us."

"Actually the Tok'ra aren't the problem, I'm more concerned about making a good impression on General Hammond and the rest of the powers that be."

"They'll love you, how could they not.  Ready?"

"Ready," Jess agreed and climbed warily out of the safety of the car.

After passing through a checkpoint and being issued with her temporary visitor pass, Jess next found herself in an elevator moving rapidly down into the mountain itself.  Level sixteen and the doors opened.

"Are we at the very bottom?" she asked Daniel.

"No, there's another twelve levels after this but we prefer to hold official functions away from the actual working area."

"Oh.  Twenty eight levels, that's deep."

"Very.  Come on," he took her hand and led her down the neutral looking corridor to a set of large double doors which were opened at their approach by a couple of Marines in full dress uniform, white gloves and everything.  Jess couldn't help but be impressed.  The room itself was far more decorative than she had been expecting given the colour scheme of the bits of the base she'd seen thus far.  Inside the dark wood doors was a ballroom sized area with mid sized circular tables spaced out around a central area, a space for speech making or dancing she guessed, if people danced at official functions, that was something she had never thought to ask.  Each table was covered with a starched white cloth and a small display of flowers stood to attention in the centre of each.  The walls were covered with cleverly hung swathes of material, probably to mask the army drabness beneath.  It was easy to look at it all and forget you were underground.  The crowd was a mix of military uniform's, formal evening wear and the one's dressed in unusual style Jess guessed to be the Tok'Ra.

"This is lovely," she said to Daniel.

"When pushed, our military lords and masters can come up with the goods," he agreed.  "And they have done us proud this time.  General Hammond, may I introduce Jessie Pallister."

An older man with an easy smile and a face that looked warm and friendly turned to greet her.

"Miss Pallister, it's an honour.  Doctor Jackson has told us much about you and I have to say I was surprised at his enthusiasm.  Now I understand it a little better."

"Thank you General Hammond," Jess shook his hand bemused.  "It was good of you to invite me to such a function."

"The General had nothing to do with it," a familiar voice said from behind her.  "I just wanted an excuse to dance with you."

"Hello Jack," Jess turned to him.  "My don't you scrub up good."

"Why thank you ma'am, I only joined the air force because I look good in blue.  And you look... stunning, I think that's the word don't you General?"

"Definitely stunning.  Enjoy your evening Miss Pallister and I trust we will be seeing plenty more of you."

"I hope so too," she replied.

"So Daniel," Jack continued, "You planning on looking that smug all night?"

"Definitely."

"Can't say I blame you," Jack grinned at them both.  "Save a dance for me teacher lady."

"Will do fly boy."

Looking back on the evening Jessie could hardly remember any of the people she was introduced to, so many names, so many unusual names, so many uniforms, so many 'alien' outfits, it all became something of a blur.  Jacob was his usual charming self, introducing her to the Tok'ra high council representatives and asking her questions about her life within the SGC community.  Jess actually found talking with members of the Tok'ra fascinating.  To share ones body and yet retain separate identities, to live for so long, it was intriguing to gain a brief insight into a totally alien culture.

And she danced.  With everybody it seemed.  Including General Hammond and Jacob who proved to be a very adept mover in a classically old fashioned way that Jess found entrancing.  Mostly she danced with Daniel, safe in the curve of his arms, happy to be with him, talking to him, laughing with him, being a part of the important side of his life.

"Hey Danny boy, I'm gonna cut in on you," Jack tapped the younger man's shoulder.  "Time for me to claim my dance."

"With me?" Daniel asked.

"Funny," Jack replied.  "Move over and let me at your woman.  Jessie, may I?"

"In that uniform Colonel O'Neill you may anything."

Jack grinned, "Works every time this old uniform of mine.  Brings out the colour of my eyes don't you think?"

"It's not your eyes one tends to notice first," she told him as they began to move decorously to the music.

"Really?"

"Really.  For me it's the hair and the breadth of your shoulders, but that's just my personal favourites."

"Okay now I'm blushing," he said faintly.

"And then of course there are your legs," Jess couldn't resist teasing him further.  "They're pretty damn good in your dress uniform, and I've always been a sucker for shiny buttons."

Jack laughed, "I hope Daniel Jackson appreciates what an extraordinary woman you are."

"I make sure he does," said Jess.  "Oh would you look, Teal'c is trying to dance with Janet, that has to be the funniest thing I have seen tonight."

"Yeah, for a black guy he's got no sense of rhythm.  Oh, there go her toes, gotta love'em for trying."

"You dance very well yourself Colonel."

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course."

"I took lessons."  Jess snorted, she couldn't help it and Jack looked most indignant.

"I'm sorry," she said, "It was the visual, you taking lessons, it just, oh God!" now she was laughing full out.

"Well that's the last time I share anything personal or intimate with you," he told her.

"Forgive me," Jess stood on her toes to plant a kiss on his cheek.  "I promise it won't happen again.  And for your information the lessons were well worth it, you are my favourite dance partner of the night."

"That's alright then.  I may need another kiss before I forgive you completely."

"Don't push your luck fly boy."

The music (provided by a military band no less) finished and Jack hugged her briefly.

"We'll have to do that again some time."

"Any time Colonel, any time."

Daniel touched her lightly on the shoulder, "Want to sit the next one out?"

"No I want to dance with you," Jess replied and with a wave Jack was gone.

"So what did Jack have to say that made you laugh so much?" Daniel wanted to know.

"I can't tell you, sorry, state secrets and all you know."

"Really?" Daniel raised his eyebrows, an expression Jess had come to love.  "What'll it take to get you to spill?"

"More than my life's worth sir."  Jess snuggled her face into the crook of his neck and kissed the soft skin just above his collar.

"Jessie," he increased his grip.

"Yes Daniel?"

"Don't stop. Don't ever stop."

"No problem."

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**Chapter 8.        Meridian **

(excuse the re-write of their lines at first).

"Jack," Daniel touched his friend on the shoulder and instantly Jack was sucked into the shadowy world the younger man currently inhabited.

"Daniel?"

"Tell Jacob to stop."

"You sure?"

"It's time for me to move on.  You remember Oma?"

Jack acknowledged the second figure.  "Where you going?"

"I don't know," Daniel smiled, eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Will we see you again?"

"I don't know.  Jack, I need one last favour."

"Name it."

"Will you tell Jess."

"Aw hell Daniel."

"Please."

"Sure, sure, I'll tell her."  

Jack found himself back in the infirmary looking down at Daniel's dying body.

"Jacob, stop."

Jacob looked up confused.  "Would somebody..."

"It's what he wants."

As they watched the heart monitor signalled his passing.

"General," Janet looked to their CO for help, but Daniel was beyond their medicines now.    The room was filled with a brilliant light as the young, brave archaeologist ascended to a higher plane of existence, leaving behind his grieving friends and setting out on a new journey of discovery.

Jack hesitated outside the apartment, sitting in the silence of his truck, staring up at the top floor windows blazing with light against the dark of the night.  This was part of the job he hated.  It hadn't happened too often thankfully but this time Daniel had not only been under his command he was also one of the few people Jack could call a true friend.  And Daniel had asked him to do this, he had no choice. 

What was he supposed to say?  Sorry Jess, your man won't be coming home ever again.  Not dead, not alive, something in between, something indefinable, something impossible to explain.  With a deep sigh and feeling every one of his fast approaching fifty years he climbed out of the truck and made for the apartment of his recently semi-departed friend.

"Jack!" Jess smiled broadly as she opened the door to him.  "This is a surprise.  What brings you tonight?"

His heart contracted tightly, this was going to be hell.  He was going to break her heart into a million little pieces.

She followed an unusually subdued Jack into the living area.  Something was very wrong, where were all his customary wise cracks and corny jokes?

"Tell me about it," she urged, pushing him into a chair and kneeling by his side.

Jack took her hands in his and studied them closely.  There was the pretty Celtic ring Daniel had given her for her birthday, the intricate pattern of curls and whorls in the gold pressed against her creamy skin.  Daniel should be holding these hands not him."I know Daniel told you as much as he was able to about the work we do, and you've been to the base, so you understand," Jack began.  "Five days ago, off world, there was an accident  resulting in a massive dose of radiation being released."

The truth was dawning on her.  "Daniel," she breathed.  "Where's Daniel?"

"He saved millions of peoples lives Jess, and the bastards tried to blame the accident on him, but in the end they had to accept the truth, that Daniel saved them all."

"He's dead," her eyes were huge, glistening with unshed tears.  "Jack tell me, is he dead?"

"I don't know," he replied honestly.  "I know that sounds crazy but I really don't know.  Did Daniel ever tell you about Oma Desala?"

"Mother nature, the being responsible for the raising of Sha're's son.  What has she got to do with anything?" the first tear ran slowly down her cheek.

"Apparently she helped Danny to ascend, so I guess he isn't dead but he isn't alive either.  Jess I'm sorry, I know I'm explaining this badly."

"I'll never see him again?"

"I doubt any of us ever will.  It is probably for the best to think of him as dead, less complicated."

Jess bowed her head, resting against Jack's knees and wept, deep, soul wrenching sobs for the love she had barely been allowed enough time with to start to get to know, and now he had been taken from her for ever.  There was nothing Jack could do save stroke her thick gold-red hair and weather the storm with her.  Hair the colour of old gold, his lips twitched at the memory of the conversation with Daniel and the look of surprise on the younger man's face at his 

uncharacteristic turn of phrase.

"Is there anyone I can call for you?" he asked eventually, once the worst seemed to be over.  "Janet maybe?  She could give you something, the doc's good at that, a needle in your butt and no more worries."

"No," Jess scrubbed her face with her hands.  "I don't need medicine and I don't need you to call somebody to come over and keep me company."  Jess stood up a little wobbly and steadied herself on the back of the chair.  "It was good of you to come over and tell me, I know you must be hurting too.  If you need to go..."

"Hell no," Jack pulled her into his lap and waited for her rigid body to relax.  "I'm not planning on leaving you on your own until I'm sure you're going to be okay."

"I don't think you've got enough time to devote to me for that," she half joked.

"You'd be surprised.  Cry, don't cry, yell, scream, do whatever you need, I'll be here."

"What I need is Daniel."

"So do I Jessie, so do I."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 9.        Whisky**

"O'Neill."

"Teal'c."

"I believe it would be appropriate to hold a celebration in honour of Daniel Jackson."

"You can only hold a wake if someone is actually dead," Jack pointed out.

"The last wake we held for Daniel he was still alive."

"Okay, so that was an exception."

"I believe it will be of assistance," Teal'c pressed on.

"I don't follow?"

"You and Major Carter are experiencing difficulties dealing with Daniel's ascension."

"Hey I'm handling it fine," Jack's temper flared as it had done on many occasions over the past month and Teal'c doing his 'I told you so' eyebrow rise did nothing to help him calm down.  "If Carter has a problem well then that's her… problem," Jack continued.  "But personally I'm fine with the situation.  Daniel's gone, he's not dead, he may even come back.  End of story."

"I do not think that you are," said Teal'c.

"Leave it," snapped Jack, storming out of the mess in search of somewhere quieter.

Okay so maybe he wasn't handling the situation particularly well but throwing a whacking great party wasn't going to help.  Not him anyway.  Screw it; if Teal'c and Carter wanted to throw a wake they could count him out.  And that other guy, Jonas, would probably be there which was all the more reason for Jack not to be, he was the one person Jack was working very hard on pretending didn't exist at all.

Jack's pacing led him subconsciously to Daniel's old workroom, the place that had become his escape from the world outside, where he could still feel close to his missing friend, provided of course that outsider wasn't there ahead of him, working his way through all Daniel's mass of research.  However on this occasion, instead of peace and quiet he found two large cardboard 

boxes and a young woman clutching Daniel's glasses, tears dripping off her chin.

"Jess!"

"Jack.  Oh God what must you think of me," she pulled a Kleenex from her pocket.

"Don't worry about it."

"But I haven't cried since the day you came to tell me," she protested.  "I was fine, I was coping, I was handling all the meaningless condolences until now and I saw these," Jess held out the glasses.  "Do ascended people not need glasses or is Daniel roaming the universe and not able to see it clearly?"

"Give me those," he took the offending item from her.  "What brought you here today?"

Jess took a deep breath and managed a watery smile.  "General Hammond called, asked me to collect Daniel's personal items and store them at home.  Someone else needs to work in here, Jonas I believe.  So I came, I filled my boxes and I was fine until…"

"Yeah, it's the stupid little things that get you every time.  Want some help?"

"I'm sure you have better things to do."

Jack pretended to think, "Nope, nothing important."

"Well I could do with a hand carrying all this stuff to the surface, save me making two trips."

"Sure.  Here's the deal.  You finish packing what you need to pack, I'll get out of these," indicating his fatigues," And we'll grab a bite to eat when we're done."

"That'd be nice."

"Right.  Pack your boxes, I'll be straight back."

"Hey Carter."

"Colonel.  Has Teal'c spoken to you about…?"

"He certainly has and I'm sure you'll have a blast."

"You're not coming?"

"Hell no.  See you tomorrow."

Sam watched him strolling down the corridor and realised with a jolt he was whistling between his teeth.  She hadn't heard him do that since, well since Daniel left.  What was he up to?

"Ready?" Jack stuck his head round the door.

"Ready," replied Jess.

"Here we go," he hoisted the larger of the two cartons and led the way to the elevator.

Jack woke with a groan.  His head was throbbing and it felt as though something had crawled into his mouth to die.  Added to that, when he finally pried his eyes open the ceiling was definitely not his own.  He was fairly sure it was a ceiling he had never been formally introduced to.  And that wasn't all.  Beside him a body stirred.  Oh boy.  This was not looking good.  Summoning all his courage Jack turned to discover just who it was lying alongside.

This was bad.  Jess's hair fell over her face but he'd know the colour anywhere, on any pillow in the world.  Then his brain clicked in enough to register the fact they were both fully dressed and the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding came out in a rush.  I really am too old for this kind of thing, he thought, way too old.  The only comfort was that he hadn't done anything inappropriate, hadn't taken advantage of a lovely young woman at such a low point in her life.  Clothes were good.  Clothes were respectable.  Clothes equalled decency.  Relaxing he turned and spooned his body around hers, letting her fit snugly against him and he drifted back to sleep.

Jess felt warm and safe, almost as if the events of the past month had been some kind of vivid nightmare and now she was waking up back to reality.  As consciousness returned the nightmare receded further as the sensation of his body of his body pressed against hers and his arm circling her waist pushed it away.

"Thank God," she murmured.  "You are still here."

"Mm," he replied sleepily.

"Okay, so why am I still in my clothes?" Jess wondered.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with all that whisky last night."

"That was not Daniel's voice.  Jess shot out of his arms and across the bedroom in a flash before turning to look at the man in her bed who shouldn't be in her bed.

"Hey," said Jack.  "Don't look at me like that, I don't know how we ended up here either."

"Oh God!" Jess closed her eyes and wished it all way.  Didn't work.  "This is so embarrassing."

"No, naked would be embarrassing," reasoned Jack.  "This is… uncomfortable."  He sat up and rubbed his hands through his short hair, leaving it sticking up in wayward spikes.  "Any chance of a coffee?"

"Coffee?  Yes, I can do coffee.  Coffee is normal, coffee is good," Jess backed out of the bedroom mumbling to herself.

"Jess," Jack called after her, trying to rescue the situation.

"What?"

"Can I use your toothbrush?"

Jess looked back at him and for a moment her lips twitched in an upward direction.  "Help yourself.  Daniel's is still there if you'd rather."

That brought him back with a bump.  Daniel.  Christ, sorry Daniel.  "Thanks."

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**Chapter 10.      Holiday Over**

"Colonel, have you got a minute?"

"Sure doc, what do you need?"

"A favour."

"Ah," now Jack looked wary.  "What kind of favour?"

"Cassie's due back this evening with Jess and I had promised to collect them both from the airport."

"But, I can hear a but coming."

"General Hammond wants me at the Alpha Site ASAP, more Jaffa rebels have arrived with wounded."

"So you want me to pick the kids up?"

"I'd appreciate it."

"No problem.  How is Jess these days?"

"Good.  When did you last see her?"

"Couple of months ago, I think she's avoiding me."

"Why so?"

"Beats me," he lied.

"Well she's fine, coming to terms with her loss.  I don't mean she's forgotten Daniel already, far from it, but she can now talk about him, laugh, reminisce, all good indicators that she's well on the way to a normal healthy recovery."

"And she's staying?" Jack wanted to know.

"In America, yes.  She heard recently that her ex-husband is already re-married and there's a child on the way."

"Ouch."

Janet smiled.  "Exactly.  Plenty enough reason not to go back."

"I'll get the girls for you doc.  Want me to keep Cassie til you get back?"

"Thanks Colonel."

Jack glanced at his watch, made it with only moments to spare.  He pulled off his sunglasses and let them fall round his neck on their cord.  He strode through the crowd in the arrivals area, eyes scanning for familiar faces.  And there they were, Cassie waving like crazy dragging a reluctant Jess along with her.

"Jack, hey Jack!" Cassie threw her arms round his neck and hugged him fiercely.

"Hey kiddo, looking good.  Have a good time?"

"The best, all thanks to Jess.  I am definitely going to work my butt off and get a place at Oxford, it is so cool, just like Daniel said it was."

"You go girl.  Hi Jess," Jack disentangled himself from Cassie.  "You got a hug for me too?"

"Jack," Jess compromised, dropping a brief kiss on his cheek.  "Where's Janet?"

"Work, which means my little chickadee," he turned to Cassie, "You get to stay with your uncle Jack."

"Excellent."

Cassie talked the entire journey from the airport to town, giving Jack a blow by blow account of their vacation to England and for this Jess was grateful.  She had managed to avoid all contact with Jack since the unfortunate episode involving a bottle of malt whisky and the confused embarrassment of the following morning.  Trouble was she had missed him.  Of all Daniel's friends (Janet and Cassie not withstanding) and colleagues, Jack was the only one with whom she had developed a true friendship of her own.  He was warm and funny and generous and an all round nice guy.  And, like her, he was still grieving for Daniel with no way of being able to 

show it due, in most part, to macho pride for him and stiff upper lip for her.  She missed the teasing banter he and Daniel used to indulge in, she missed him turning up unexpectedly with a pack of beer for her and him and a bottle of wine for Daniel, and then sitting into the night discussing any subject they hit upon.  And because of one drunken incident she had cut him out of her life completely and she missed him like crazy.  What was that saying, to cut off ones nose to spite ones face.  Yup, she'd done that.

A phone rang.  With a muttered curse Jack pulled it out of his pocket, spoke briefly and snapped it shut.

"Sorry ladies, change of plan.  My presence is required back at the base."

"Does this mean I won't be staying with you?" asked Cassie, failing to keep the disappointment from her voice.

"You know how it is kiddo, it could be nothing, it could be something.  I'm sorry."

"Cassie can stay with me," said Jess.  "I know it's only a fold out bed in the study but you've used it before."

"Thanks," Cassie gave her a quick grin.  "I thought maybe you'd have had enough of me by now."

"Nah, that'd be me," said Jack.  "I can't stand you after a day let alone a fortnight.  Hell I reckon Jess deserves a medal, in fact I'll have a word with Hammond, see what he can do."

Cassie stuck her tongue out at him and Jack did a poor imitation Teal'c eyebrow lift.  "My, how grown up."

"You taught me well master."

Jack burst out laughing and cuffed Cassie gently round the head.  Catching sight of Jess in the far seat he was relieved to see she was laughing along with them.

He pulled the truck to a standstill in front of the apartment block and carried their cases up for them.  "Right, time to save the world again," he joked.  "Thanks for this Jess."

"Just doing my bit on the world saving front."

"Nice one," Jack grinned at her.  "Someone'll relieve you, soonest."

"Whenever."

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**Chapter 11.      Can we be friends?**

Jess was curled in bed reading when there was a knock at the door.  She glanced at the clock, half eleven.  Who on earth?

"Jack?" Jess pulled her robe tighter together.  "What are you doing here?  Do you know what time it is?  Is there a problem?"

"I'm sorry, I'll go, I didn't mean to get you out of bed.  There's no problem, go back to bed."

"Come on in," she pulled him through the door and closed it.  "Want a beer?"

"Love one."

"But no whisky tonight," she added.

"Don't want to sleep with me huh?"

"Something like that."

Jack sank onto the couch and rubbed his aching knee.

"Are you hurt?" Jess asked as she passed him an ice-cold beer.

"It's nothing."

"It's something.  Move down a little," Jess instructed and slid onto the couch beside him.  "Right, leg up here please," indicating her lap.

"You don't…"

"Shut up Jack and do as you're told."

"Yes ma'am," he did as he was told.

"Tell me about it," Jess massaged his knee gently and for a while Jack simply enjoyed the novelty of being looked after.

"Replacement number nine," he told her.  "Got us in a spot of bother when the natives he was sure were friendly turned out not to be friendly after all.  Tore a ligament.  The doc patched me up.  God that feels good," he was melting under her light touch.

"I have many hidden talents," Jess said.  "What did you mean, replacement?"

"For Daniel."

"Ah," she managed not to wince.

"But he's kind of a hard act to follow."

"Has there been no word?" Jess asked.

"From Daniel?  No, nothing.  Are you still hoping?"

Jess smiled briefly.  "Not really, not rationally, I have accepted that he's gone.  There are moments, usually late at night when I miss him so much I can hardly breathe.  He's moved on with his life, I have to move on with mine."  She shook her head to dispel the feeling.  "Enough.  We are so not doing maudlin tonight."

"Yeah, from what I can recall that's what caused the problem last time.  That and alcohol.  Can we be friends again, this silence, this avoiding you've been treating me to isn't exactly fun?" Jack wanted to know, no, needed to know.

"Provided I don't wake up with you in my bed I reckon we can," she replied.

"Deal.  You have great hands."

"So I've been told.  Daniel used to get so tense, he loved a rub down."  Jess worked on his thigh and calf as well.  "You've got great legs."

"Now I'm blushing."

Jess laughed.  "So what you been up to fly boy?  Janet picked Cassie up over a week ago and said you were pretty caught up in something."

"Just saving the world again."

"Nothing special then."

"No," Jack leant back against the bank of cushions and closed his eyes.  "Teal'c's wife died."

"I'm so sorry.  How is he?"

"Difficult to tell with Teal'c.  He's spent some time with Ry'ac and that helped them both."

"Want another beer?"

"Thanks kid."

When Jess returned Jack had stretched full length on the couch and rather than disturb him she curled up on the floor alongside.

"I've decided to give Jonas a try," he said without opening his eyes.  "He's been pretty useful lately and the Russians are pushing to make up our fourth."

"So he's the lesser of two evils?"

"Yes and no," Jack reached out and twisted her hair through his fingers, he loved longer hair on a woman, made them more feminine, or so he thought.  "It's not easy to look at him and not remember it was his people that tried to blame Daniel for the accident.  When you do what we do you have to trust all your team completely, without thought.  And right now I have a problem 

with that."

"Did you trust Daniel at first?"

"Well no," he admitted.  "I thought he was a geek.  Actually I always thought he was a geek but he kinda grew on me.  And I did trust him to watch my six so long as there wasn't a more interesting inscription to translate, or native to greet."  Jack smiled to himself.  "Yeah, Daniel always was a bit of a loose cannon."

"So now you have to learn to trust Jonas," she said reasonably.

"I'm too old for change."

"That's rubbish," Jess poked him in the ribs.

"Ow, woman."

"Give him a chance Jack."

"You sound like Carter and Teal'c."

"Must be good advice then."

"Okay, so I'll go easy on him, how's that."

"A good start," Jess yawned.  "I have school in the morning."

"Then I guess I'd better go."

"You don't have to, I can make you up a bed right here."

"So separate rooms is okay?" he asked with a quiet laugh.

"Don't push your luck."

"And you'll still respect me in the morning?"

"Jack," brushing his hair back Jess planted a kiss on his forehead.  "Play your cards right and I might even make you breakfast."

By the time Jess returned with a quilt Jack was asleep.  Smiling to herself she removed his shoes and tucked the quilt round him.

"Sleep well fly boy."

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**Chapter 12.      Beer, steaks & pool**

Jess leant across to Sam, "Is it me or does Jonas smile a lot?"

"It's not you," replied Sam with a laugh, "He's like a puppy, racing head long at life and enjoying his big adventure."

"Is Jack getting used to him?"

"A little, and if he keeps on coming through for us the way he has been I reckon the outlook is favourable."

"Good," Jess took another drink of her beer and watched Jack and Teal'c at the pool table.  Jonas was scrutinising every shot in preparation for his match against the winner.  The way things were playing out he was going up against Teal'c.

Jess had had no hesitation in accepting the invite to a steak and beer evening with SG1, in fact since Jack spent the night on her couch he'd made a point of including her in many of their down time activities and Jess appreciated still being one of the guys.  Since their latest mission to save the planet the team had been mostly earth bound for the longest Jess had ever known 

and it was only in the last week they'd ended up in a sunken mother ship.

The team was slowly rebuilding.  The gap left by Daniel was gradually closing, the dynamics were altering subtly and Jonas was growing into his role.  Speaking of Jonas, she watched as he asked another of his endless stream of questions and caught Jack's lips twitch as he smothered a smile brought on by Teal'c's literal reply.

"That's me done," Jack passed his cue to Jonas and joined the ladies at their table.  Sam passed him a beer and Jack grinned his thanks to her.  Not for the first time Jess found herself wondering if there wasn't more to Jack and Sam's relationship.  She had once asked Daniel but he was pretty sure military regulations meant more to either of them, so if there were feelings they were never going to amount to more than feelings.

"You all packed Carter?" Jack asked.

"Yes sir, all ready."

"Packed for where?" Jess wanted to know.

"Antarctica," Sam replied.  "We have a research base down there."

"The snow buggies are way cool," added Jack.

"They're carrying out some interesting research and we've been invited to see the latest discoveries," Sam continued ignoring Jack.

"Mm, science, my favourite," he teased.

Jonas and Teal'c appeared at the table, Jonas was grinning again.  "I beat Teal'c."

"Teal'c I'm ashamed at you," Jack told him.  "Couldn't you have at least hung on there a little longer?"

"Unfortunately I could not," said Teal'c gravely.

"Whose next?" Jonas wanted to know.

"Go on Carter," said Jack.  "Show Jonas your moves."

Sam took Teal'c's cue and they returned to the game table.

"That should wipe the smile off his face," Jack failed to keep the satisfaction from his voice.

"Indeed," agreed Teal'c.

In the far corner of their usual haunt there was a handkerchief sized dance floor where several couples were moving to a familiar tune.  Jess itched to join them and suddenly the loss of Daniel threatened to overwhelm her, he'd danced with her right there many times.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked, having watched her face cloud with sadness.

"A Daniel moment," she admitted.  "Would you do something for me?"

"Name it."

"Dance with me."

"You sure?  I seem to remember last time your toes took quite a hammering."

"I'm sorry," Jess looked away embarrassed.  "I shouldn't have asked."

Jack was silent for a moment then, taking her hand in his he pulled her to her feet.  "You want to dance we dance.  I take no responsibility for injuries inflicted."

The crowd on the dance floor parted enough to allow Jack and Jess through, and holding her at arms length Jack tried to pick up on the rhythm of the music.  Jess suffered this distance dancing for as long as she could (which wasn't long) then stepped up to close the gap and rest her head against the soft material of his shirt.  Better.  Not Daniel but she was not going to think like that.  This was Jack and he felt very good in his own right, too good possibly and she definitely wasn't going to think like that.

The song ended, neither noticed and the next began.  Jack slid his hand beneath Jess's soft shiny hair and caressed the back of her neck.  It was a very long time since he'd held anyone this close and Jess seemed to fit against him in all the right places.  Which was a problem.  It was causing him to think thoughts he really ought not, not about Daniel's girl.  Jess sighed and moved her face against him, her arms wrapped tighter round his waist and Jack felt an all too familiar sensation creeping up on him.  Not now, he willed himself, not now.  But not even his considerable will power could prevent his body reacting to her closeness.  It was impossible for Jess not to notice.

"Um, Jack…" she began.

"I guess it would be pointless to say it was my side arm?" he asked.

"Pointless," Jess agreed.

"Okay, now I'm really embarrassed."

"How about if I take it as a compliment?"

"That'd help."

"Well at least it answers another of my questions, you are human after all, I do wonder sometimes with you soldiery types."

"Well gee thanks.  I am very human for your information."

"So I noticed," wickedly Jess pressed herself closer and was amused to watch Jack close his eyes and swallow.  Ha, got you fly boy.

Not for the first time Jack sat in his truck and looked up at the lighted windows of Jess's apartment.   Over the last month or so he'd found his truck turning towards the apartment as if under someone else's control, he'd park, check the lights were on, that she was safe at home, that she was close for a few moments, then he could go home.  He shouldn't be here.  He shouldn't be thinking what he was thinking.  He reached for the key to start the engine then paused, from his vantage point he could see Jess outlined against the picture window, wearing shorts and a vest top, clearly ready for bed and his heart was in his mouth.  Dammit he had to 

do this.

Jess heard the knock at the door as she flicked off the living room light.  Only one person ever called at this time of night.  It was only an hour since they'd all said goodnight at the bar, so what on earth brought him to her door?

"Hello Jack."

"Hey," he closed the door behind himself.

"Haven't you got an early start in the morning?"

"I just wanted to apologise again for my behaviour on the dance floor."

"You don't need to Jack, these things happen."

"Then maybe I should say sorry for this instead," dipping his head Jack kissed her.

Jess stepped back and stared up at him.  What, why?  Oh the hell with trying to understand the situation.  It was Jack.  Jack was safe and maybe he was the one she could turn to to chase the last of her ghosts away.  Her hands slid up his shirtfront and stepping back into the circle of his arms she pulled his mouth back to her own.  Hot damn but he was a sensational kisser.

This time it was Jack to break the contact first and led her through to the dark living area.  With a tug she tumbled onto the couch with him and laughing quietly he held her tight in his arms.

"Four hundred years ago they'd have burnt you at the stake," he told her, tucking that glorious hair behind her ear.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't try and tell me you aren't a witch.  Daniel told me you could cast a spell and bewitch a man and until tonight I thought he was talking crazy.  Until you did it to me."

"I don't recall doing anything to you tonight."

"Yesterday you were just you, a happy go lucky, funny, beautiful woman with an accent to die for and a great laugh and that twinkle in your eye.  Then suddenly tonight the whole picture shifted slightly and now…" his fingers traced the swell of her breast.  "Now is something very different."

"I think that's the longest I've ever heard you speak about anything.  Tonight is certainly full of surprises."

"Good surprises?"

"I think so.  I always thought you and Sam…"

"Ah, Carter.  No."

"There's something."

"Can't deny that," said Jack.  "There may be feelings but that's all there ever will be, feelings, and that's not just because of regulations.  Carter and me, we both know anything more would be a disaster, we're too alike and too different.  So those feelings are tucked in a box and hidden away."

"Okay."

"Which just leaves Daniel.  You took his breath away and now I understand why.  I'll understand if you'd rather I hadn't kissed you, if you want to go back to before."

Jess touched his face and thought about his words.  Did she want to waste her life away waiting and hoping that one day Daniel might possibly walk back through the door?  Could she live like that, always wondering if today was the day?  No she couldn't.  And she wasn't prepared to live like a nun; she was thirty-one years old, enjoyed loving and being loved.  Jack was someone who would never give his heart lightly so coming tonight and saying what he had had taken some courage on his part and that made it all the more special.  It was almost as if Daniel were whispering in her ear not to waste the opportunity, to go ahead and live again, with this man, with his friend, be happy, make him happy.

"We can't go back, I don't want to go back, I want to go forward.  With you."

"Sure?" he was smiling now.

"Sure."

"When I get back from Antarctica we'll do it properly, the whole thing, dates and everything," he promised, kissing her jaw slowly, tongue darting out to taste her skin.

"I'd like that."

"So I guess I should call it a night and get some sleep before my flight."

Pausing by the door Jack gathered her back into his arms and kissed her again, deeper, harder than before.  Jess wrapped herself around him and gave as good as she got.  More by luck than judgement Jack discovered the gap between shorts and top and his fingers encountered soft warm flesh.  He groaned into her mouth as Jess surged against him.  His precarious self-control was faltering.  So long, so long since he'd wanted anyone this badly.  

"This is not good."

"I beg to differ," Jess murmured in reply.

"I haven't been to Antarctica yet, well I have, but not this time.  Jessie!" his breath caught as her fingers slid under the hem of his shirt.

"Want to get naked fly boy?" Jess managed to ask hoarsely.

"Naked?  Hell yes."

"You know the way."  Suddenly she was gone from his arms and running toward the bedroom.  Pausing in the doorway Jess dropped her vest top on the floor and Jack caught a glimpse of skin before she vanished into the dimly lit room.  He followed more cautiously, his body wanting her, his head hesitating.  Daniel loomed large in his thoughts, and he was pretty sure he was 

still never far from hers either.  How in the hell would Jack explain sex with Jess if he did meet up with Daniel somewhere out there?  Worse still what if Daniel were floating around in the apartment right now?

"I'm not getting any younger here," Jess called from the bedroom.

"Oh for cryin' out loud!" Contemplation of Daniel and his feelings some other time, right now he needed to concentrate on his own.  Jack pulled his shirt over his head, bypassing the need to fight with buttons and reached for his belt.

Jess watched Jack's frantic striptease from the bed with frank enjoyment.

"It's been a while," he warned her.  "I can't guarantee my normal excellent control of situations such as this."

"I don't want you to be controlled," she told him.

There was no more talking.

 "Jack?" Jess asked much, much later.

"Mm?" he replied sleepily.

"Are we crazy?"

"Hell yes, it's the only way to be."

"Okay."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 13.      Where is he?**

"Cassie, is your mum home?"

"Yeah Jess, hold and I'll fetch her."

"Hey Jess, what can I do for you?" Janet's rich warm voice flowed down the telephone line.

"Can I talk to you in confidence?"

"Sure.  Hang on."  Jess could hear a muted conversation away from the receiver and then a click on the line.  "Right, I've sent Cassie away and am now at my desk in full consultation mode.  How can I help?"

"Tell me where Jack is."

"I can't do that."

"Janet I'm going out of my mind, it's been three weeks and nothing, nada, zip.  It's like Daniel all over again.  I know SG1 are back, I saw Sam in town.  So where is Jack?"

"What exactly is the problem Jess?  You know I can't discuss missions or assignments.  What's the real reason for this call?"

"Still in confidence?"

"Totally."

"The night before they left for Antarctica we had a kind of epiphany, Jack and I.  It was…amazing.  And he promised me as soon as he returned I'd see him, a lot of him.  Janet I can't lose both of them, I just can't."

"Aw hell Jess, you don't make life easy for yourself do you?  Can I assume by epiphany you mean you slept with him?"

"Yes.  And I can't believe it meant nothing to Jack, I know him well enough to be pretty sure that's not his way."

"You're right, it's not," agreed Janet.  "Look we can't discuss this over the phone.  Can you come over?"

"Sure."

"I'll have the wine uncorked and ready, I think we're going to need it."

Jess had always loved Janet's home.  It was a simple family home full of mis-matched furniture and the normal healthy clutter created by two busy women.  There was never the slightest sign of masculine occupation (save of course the football, catchers mitt and hockey sticks provided by Jack so he had someone to play with); Jess had never seen so much as a photograph of Janet's ex-husband.  Now she knew Cassandra wasn't Janet's natural daughter it did explain a lot.  Thirty years living in England amongst normal people (she assumed) and within twelve months of arriving in America Jess was in regular contact with no less than three aliens.  Awesome.

Janet met her at the door.  "Cassandra is working on an assignment and is under orders to leave us alone.  Come on back," she led the way to her tiny study where sure enough standing on the desk was a bottle of chilled wine and two glasses.  "Here you go."

"Thanks," Jess accepted a glass and sank into one of the huge armchairs, Janet took the other.

"So, Jack," Janet kicked off.  "Good job I was sitting down when you dropped that little bombshell."

"I don't know what happened," Jess admitted.  "One minute he was just Jack and the next he was…" she felt a flush of embarrassment creep over her skin as the memory of Jack's body crushing hers was so vivid.  "I felt alive again."

"Well you certainly can't mourn Daniel for ever and it's good, normal, healthy that you've moved on.  But I certainly didn't see the direction of the move coming."

"Me either.  No, that's not strictly true," amended Jess.  "I've spent a lot of time with Jack since Cass and I returned from England and feelings were developing on my part.  I just refused to acknowledge them because I was pretty sure they would never be reciprocated."

"Jack is a very different proposition to Daniel," Janet pointed out.  "Daniel wore his heart on his sleeve, you knew just by looking at him if he was happy, sad, angry.  The Colonel is much more self-contained, much deeper despite his outward funny-man act."

"I know, and I also know he's not a man who would say the things he said or do the things he did and not mean any of it.  So why didn't he come back with Sam and the rest of SG1?"

"Okay," Janet decided.  "I'll tell you what I can.  There was an unexpected development during our last away mission."

"You went to Antarctica?"

"Yes.  A viral contagion infected us all, Sam, Jonas, Jack and the three resident scientists."

"Well you look okay now."

"We all are, except for Jack," said Janet.

"Dear God he's not dead or worse ascended as well?" demanded Jess, her heart in her mouth.

"Nothing like that," Janet assured her.  "He was, however, gravely ill and there is no known cure."

"Why just him, why not all of you?"

"That bit I can't tell you."

"Is he at the base?  Will you find a cure?  Can I see him?"

"D'you think I would be here if Jack were still on the base?  His only chance for survival lies beyond my ability.  We contacted the Tok'ra and they have taken him.  Blending with a symbiote is the only course of action left."

"Daniel told me that Jack could never bring himself to trust anyone with a snake in their head, well except for Jacob that is."

"Which is true, the Colonel has never been able to hide his distrust of the Tok'ra."

"So?"

"Blending or certain death.  I have to admit his acceptance of the Tok'ra offer shocked the hell out of me at the time, I was expecting it to be much harder to convince him.  If anyone would have chosen death over a symbiote it'd have been Jack.  Maybe I now understand a little better."

"I don't, you're going to have to explain that one to me."

"I'll draw pictures if you like.  I think you were the reason."

"Me?  Oh!" Jess was mortified.  "He wouldn't."

"He would," Janet topped up their glasses.  "I have known the Colonel for six years and in that time I can think of only two occasions when he has allowed any woman to get close, and both were more by accident than design.  Before you ask no, I will not expand on either.  But what I will tell you is that when it comes down to it Jack chose duty over his own feelings each time.  This is the only occasion I believe he has put someone else first."

"How long will he be with the Tok'ra?" the need to see him was growing with every one of Janet's words.  "Can he come home and resume with SG1 as a Tok'ra host?"

"The Tok'ra have assured us that the arrangement is only temporary and if a willing host can not be found in a reasonable length of time the symbiote will sacrifice itself.  And in answer to your second question no, Jack cannot function as a member of SG1 until he is back to normal."

"Will he ever be, you know, back to normal?"

"The sixty four thousand dollar question.  Truth is I don't know," Janet replied honestly.

Jess was silent while she tried to adjust to the news Janet had provided her with.  It was a lot to take in and a coldness was building within her.  What if the blending altered Jack so much that the subsequent unavoidable change in their relationship broke it before they had a chance to find out whether or not it could have worked?  Was she destined to lose him too?  Had she been a total fool to think this time things might work?  Would it be best to call it quits here and now before matters became any more complicated?

"Are you okay?" Janet asked.

Jess nodded, "Just trying to take it all in.  God," she buried her head in her hands, "I think I may have made a monumental mess of my life all over again."

"All I can advise is patience.  Don't go making any hard and fast decisions until we know all the facts, okay?"

"Doctor's orders?"

"And friendly advice.  When I have any news I'll be sure to pass it along."

"Thanks Janet."

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**Chapter 14.      A visit from an old friend**

Christmas came and went, one month ran into the next.  Jack was still gone.  Jess waited.  This wait was a hundred times worse.  Accepting that Daniel was gone had been hard but he was gone.  Jack wasn't gone exactly, just missing in action, something like that.  And when he did come back there was no guarantee he would be the same person after the length of time he'd been host to a Tok'ra.  That was the hardest part of all.

Jess trained herself not to look to far into the future, not to make any plans, not to think of the day following the one she was living.  It was too complicated and if she let herself start thinking further ahead than the current day she could feel her grip on reality slide.

Then one night she had the strangest dream.  The surroundings were impossible to recognise, it was as if someone had gone overboard with the dry ice machine, everything around her was lost in a haze, and she was dressed in… something floaty and white.  Maybe this was heaven, she thought, I've died and gone to heaven.  How curious.

"Hey Jessie."

She spun round to find… "Daniel!  Am I dead?"

"No, you're not dead," he laughed; all warmth and comfort and Jess wanted to wrap herself up in him and forget.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"Asleep in bed in Colorado Springs."

"So I'm dreaming?"

"That's probably the best way to think of it," he agreed.

"I don't usually dress this well in a dream," Jess turned slowly, letting the gauzy material move with her.

"You look beautiful, I hoped you might like it," he smiled and Jess felt her throat tighten and tears sting her eyes.

"Is it really you Daniel?  Are you here with me in Colorado Springs?"

"Not exactly.  Don't try to understand."

"I think I'm going to cry," she told him.

"Don't please," he stepped instinctively toward her.  "I didn't mean to make you sad."

"Then what Daniel?" Jess brushed a tear from her face.  "What do you want?  Why have you come back to me now?"

"I wanted to tell you it was almost over, you just need to hold on a little longer."

"I don't understand."

"You will.  You have so much to live for Jess, your life is just beginning, enjoy every minute."

"I thought my life began when I met you, and I didn't get much of a chance to enjoy that."

"I was just the warm up act so to speak," 

"So why couldn't I just stick with the warm up act?"

"Jess," he looked so sad.  "I'm sorry for the way things worked out but believe it or not there is a purpose, it may not always feel like it but there is.  You may need to take a leap of faith, take it."

The image was beginning to fade.  "Daniel wait, don't go, dammit Daniel don't you leave me alone.  Daniel!"

Jess woke with a start back in her bed and already the substance of her dream was fading, leaving nothing more than an intense sense of loss that all she could do was roll over, bury her face in the pillow and for the first time since Jack went away Jess gave vent to all her pain, anguish and despair, crying herself back to sleep.

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**Chapter 15.      He's back**_._

"Jess, any chance you could come up to the base?"

"Sure Janet, problem?"

"Cassie's here and in need of a ride back to town.  I'm kinda caught up in something and can't get away."

"No problem.  Half an hour."

Jess pulled on her coat and let herself out of the apartment.  Beyond the warm building the temperature seemed stuck well below zero even though February was almost finished.  Roads were useable with care and she took her time climbing the winding road to the base.  Once there she found security expecting her and a quick trip down in the elevator deposited her on the infirmary level.

Cassie met her in the corridor and placing a finger to her lips to indicate quiet led Jess into a small viewing room with one wall made entirely of glass, giving an uninterrupted view of the room below.

"Oh my God!" Jess breathed and moved closer to the window.

Below in a solitary bed and surrounded by various pieces of medical technology lay Jack.  His eyes were closed and even in sleep he looked far from relaxed.  Jess turned to Cassie, "When?  How?"

All Cass could do was shrug, she had no idea.  "Mom says you can visit with him for a minute.  General Hammond and everyone else are busy just now.  Want to go down?"

"Please," Jess replied.

Cass was an old hand at finding her way around the base and in moments she opened the door to Jack's room.  "I'll go find mom," she said in a whisper leaving Jess alone.

Jess moved toward the bed and as she did his eyes slid open, almost as if he'd sensed her presence.

"Hey kid," his voice was a little rusty.

"Hey Jack.  Had me worried."

"Me too."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Doc says so and I've never known her be wrong."

"I missed you," Jess said.  "You probably don't need to hear this right now but I missed you Jack O'Neill."

Jack reached out and tugged her closer, his hand running up her arm and into her hair, drawing her face to his.  Jess brushed her lips against his and heard his breath catch.

"Missed you too kid."

"Are you… you?  What I mean is…"

"There's no snake in my head."

"Gone?"

"Ran out on me the little bastard."

"But it cured you?"

"You could say."

"So long as you're going to be okay, that's all that matters."  Jess ran her fingers lightly over his face, tracing the contours, the bone structure, the arch of his eyebrows.  "I can't believe you're really back.  I was starting to think you'd joined Daniel."  Jess felt him flinch and couldn't understand why.  His eyes were closing, she watched him fighting sleep and knew it was time to go.  "Get yourself better fly boy, you still owe me."

His lips twitched, "I'd almost forgotten you were holding that marker."

"You'd better be ready when I call it in.  Take care of yourself Colonel O'Neill."

"And you Jessie Pallister, and you."

From her vantage point in the observation room Sam couldn't hear what was being said.  She didn't need to.  Just watching the Colonel's hand slide up into that funny coloured hair had said it all.  As Jess ducked to kiss him goodbye the Styrofoam cup in Sam's hand finally gave in to the force she was exerting on it and scalding hot liquid soaked through her fatigues.

"Godammit," she hissed.  "First you snare Daniel and now the Colonel.  What is so special about you lady?  Why can't you go back to your own country and leave my men alone."

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**Chapter 16.      Go fish Colonel.**

"I'm fine General."

"I have a report on my desk Colonel that says otherwise."

"Do I look crazy to you?  Okay so maybe that's not the best question.  There's no need to remove me from active duty."

"I am standing you down Colonel.  You are on leave until such time Doctor Fraiser tells me you are fit to resume your duties."

"This is so unnecessary General.  It was just one little moment, I was provoked, it could have happened to any of us, it could have happened to you.  Okay, probably not to you."

"You put two Marines in hospital Jack.  Go, go fishing and don't come back until whatever it is that is causing you to act out is resolved.  And that's an order."

Jack turned and stormed out of the General's office, slamming the door and headed off the base.  Fine.  If they didn't want him around he wouldn't be around.  They'd be beating a path to his door soon enough, and maybe he'd come back maybe he wouldn't.  Fishing sounded pretty good, let someone else save the planet for a change, it was too long since his last trip to Minnesota.

Janet felt as though she were caught between a rock and a hard place.  On one side she had Jess, hurt and confused by Jack's non subtle avoidance tactics, he had made it all too clear since that one visit to the infirmary he wanted nothing more to do with her.  On the other she had Sam maintaining a frigid silence around the Colonel and acting pretty frosty in Janet's direction as well.  Her conclusion was that somehow Sam knew about Jess and Jack and was mad as hell.  Regulations were fine so long as both parties remained celibate and didn't instead turn to someone else.  She'd been pretty much the same following the Colonel's enforced stay with Laira on Edora.  Jack had broken her unspoken rules.  The problem was intensified by the fact Jack seemed to be having serious regrets about getting involved with Jess.  It was so out of character.  Jack didn't sleep with a woman and then drop her with no decent explanation offered.  Something was out of whack.  Until the conflict came to an end Jack would be sidelined, Sam would be frigid and Jess would be hurting.  Janet had to plot a course through the emotional minefield to put it all right.

"Doctor Fraiser have you seen this latest psychological report on Colonel O'Neill?"

"I know he threw Doctor Shephard out General," Janet replied.

"What in the hell is wrong with him?"

"My belief is that something else happened during his imprisonment, something he hasn't talked about to anyone, and until he does I'm afraid Colonel O'Neill will not be fit to resume his duties."

General Hammond sat back and thought about the doctor's assessment of the situation.  She had never been wrong before.  Jack was too important a member of the SGC to write off without a fight.

"What would you advise doctor?"

"He needs to face up to whatever it is he is trying and failing to repress."

"How do we make him do that?"

Janet smiled, "I may have an idea on that sir."

"And?"

"It's a little unconventional and involves a civilian."

"You believe this is the best course of action?"

"Yes sir, I believe it is."

"Very well.  Let me know how it goes."

"Yes sir."

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Chapter 17.      Minnesota 

At the airport Jess bought a detailed map of the state, signed for her rental car and hit the road.  She still wasn't convinced Janet's plan had any chance of success.  Go to Jack, bug the hell out of him, do whatever is necessary, provoke him, whatever it takes to get him to finally reveal just what happened during his time in captivity.

Jack had been taken prisoner.  While she was moving through her days and wondering just why he hadn't returned Jack was being systematically tortured to death and then revived by some wonder of alien technology only for it to start all over again.  No wonder he was messed up.  Just thinking about it made tears sting her eyes.  The sheer enormity of what he'd been put through, it was something no man should be forced to suffer.  Imprisonment and even torture was one thing, to die over and over, it was a wonder he was sane at all.  For the first time Jess could actually grasp the danger all the SG teams faced every time they took that first step into the unknown.

Minnesota.  Land of 10,000 lakes sure was pretty.  It helped.  Made the drive interesting, lots to look at to pass the time and stop her worrying what she might be heading into.  Which was fine until she turned off from the highway onto the rough track leading (she hoped) to his cabin.  There was a small town some five miles back with a motel if her journey turned out to be a monumental waste of time.  Jess crawled down the track, fearful for the little car's suspension; doubtless Jack's truck had been designed with rough terrain in mind.  Lucky Jack.  Jess was beginning to lose all feeling from the waist down as she bounced from rut to rut.  You'd better be pleased to see me, Jack O'Neill.

The first thing Jack noticed as he rounded the corner of the cabin, carrying the day's catch for his supper was the car.  Ordinary car, ordinary colour, had to be a rental or a bureaucrat.  His money was on rental.  The next thing he focussed on was her hair, or rather the sinking sun setting her hair on fire.  The intensity of colour, the red-gold haloing her face, it was breathtaking.  And it was longer, way past her shoulders, long and loose and beautiful.  With a jolt Jack realised how long it was since he'd seen her (one brief visit to his hospital bed not withstanding).

"Hey Jack, caught enough for two?"

"Why are you here?" he knew he sounded gruff and rude, there was nothing he could do about that.

"Had a craving for fresh caught fish and remembered you waxing lyrical about this place," she indicated the cabin and surrounding scenery.  "Thought I might find out if it is as good as you made out."

"And is it?"

"The track's nasty, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have some serious bruises.  I could murder a beer."

"What makes you think I have beer?"

Jess frowned at him, the sun was moving from her hair and she no longer looked like an angel.  "Jack O'Neill without a cold beer in the fridge is like bread without butter."

"A beer coming right up," he almost smiled.  "There are seats round back, make yourself comfortable while I deal with these (the fish)."

To the rear of the cabin Jess found a creaky old swing seat and an even rattier director's chair so she opted for the swing.  In the silence she tried to analyse the Jack O'Neill she'd just met.  He looked old and that appalled her.  Jack would never be old; he was a man who made grey hair look sexy, who still moved like a man twenty years his junior.  Not anymore.  He clearly hadn't shaved since leaving Colorado Springs two weeks previously.  He'd lost weight, the bones of his face stark beneath the stubbly beard.  Even those rich brown eyes looked defeated.  Jess could see the need for Janet's crazy plan to work, it had to work, they had to find a way to pull Jack back from where ever he was currently stuck.

"Here you go."

"Thanks," Jess smiled up at him, in the dusk some of the strain on his face was lost but he still looked as though he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in forever.

"So why are you here?"

"I told you," Jess replied.

"Now tell me the real reason."

"Everyone's concerned about you.  I'm on vacation so it was easiest for me to travel here, and when Janet asked me for my help I was more than happy to."

"You planning on staying?"

"Teal'c told me you have two bedrooms, he says the room is a little small to 'kelnoreem' comfortably, but I have no idea what that is and therefore no intention of doing it.  So yes I'm planning on staying."

"I came here to be on my own," Jack pointed out.

"And I came here to be with you.  Get used to it."

"I'm not good company, hell I don't even like my own company right now so don't be expecting sparkling conversation."

"I don't expect anything.  No," Jess corrected herself.  "I do have certain expectations."

"Which are?"

"Not for sharing.  So fly boy, are those fish cleaned?  I know a great way of cooking them but I can't do the icky bit."

Despite his determination not to show any sign of pleasure in her appearance Jack had to laugh, "All clean and ready for you ma'am."

"Excellent."

One thing Teal'c hadn't told Jess was how uncomfortable the bed in the tiny bedroom was.  She refused to think about how old the mattress must be to have formed itself into a surface resembling that of the moon.  In spite of her bad night she hadn't heard Jack leave the cabin yet the entire place was deserted when her need for coffee became too strong to ignore any longer.

By the harsh light of day Jess got her first good look at the cabin.  The evening before, lit only by a couple of oil lamps (the basic electricity supply didn't run to lighting), most of the interior of the cabin was lost in shadow.  When she stepped out of her bedroom Jess found herself wishing it still was.  Okay, coffee first, plan second.  Or better still head for town, find a diner and combine coffee and planning somewhere clean and wholesome.  Much better idea.

Fortified by a huge breakfast and several cups of great coffee Jess returned to the cabin, the trunk of her little car full of cleaning equipment and enough food to see them through a siege.

When Jack returned at sunset he stood in the doorway and wondered how he'd managed to drop into an alternate reality without the aid of one of those pesky mirrors.  This could not possibly be the same cabin he left that morning.  It was… clean.  Every inch of the place gleamed, there were new throws on the chairs; cheerful rag rugs on the wood floor, there were even curtains at the windows.

Jess was working in the kitchen area, her bright hair tied back in a ponytail to keep from getting in the way.  In front of her were large juicy steaks and the makings of a salad.  Hooked along a clothes airer in front of the cabinets appeared to be every shirt, t-shirt and pair of jeans he owned, all cleaned and pressed.

"I didn't know I had an iron," was all he could think to say.

"You didn't," said Jess with a broad smile that threatened to take his breath away.  Dammit how could she look that good after spending a day scrubbing his home from top to bottom?  (Answer a shower shortly before he arrived).  "I've had to make two trips into town so far today."

"There was no need for any of… this," his gaze swept the room.

"Yes there was.  If you are planning on being here for any length of time at least I know you're living a little better."

"I wouldn't be here at all if the Doc and General Hammond would just lighten up."

"Or alternatively if you would let go and talk to them.  You have to release your burden Jack."

"Would you stop!" he yelled, surprising himself and shocking the hell out of Jess.  The all too familiar phrase brought it all rushing back and his control was fraying.  "I have no burden to release.  How many times do I have to tell you people!"

Jess said nothing but Jack could tell his outburst had hurt her.  He ploughed on regardless.  "All I need is to get back to work, get busy, save the planet again, kick some alien butts and I'll be fine."

"Will you?" Jess's eyes were brimming with tears and he felt a complete bastard.

"Hell yes, absolutely fine."

"And absolutely alone.  Is that what you want Jack?  To be the ultimate military killing machine, living solely for the job, no friends, no life, no anything beyond being a soldier?  Sounds like a lonely existence to me."

"Works for me.  That way I hurt no-one and no-one hurts me, yep, sounds pretty damn good."

"You sad, sad man."

"Look lady I don't have to take this from you or anybody.  If you don't like it leave, there's the door, use it, don't let me stop you.  Have a good life."

"Excuse me."  Jess picked up her car keys and headed out.  Jack made no move to stop her.  She was right, he was better off alone, he should be grateful she finally understood exactly where he stood.  So how come it hurt so much?

Trying to find her way down the rough track in the pitch dark with hot tears blurring her view and the inadequate headlights barely lighting the way ahead was a recipe for disaster.  Failing to negotiate a particularly deep rut something broke under the car and it shuddered to a halt.  Pounding her hands against the steering wheel Jess reeled off every profanity she knew and even a few she surprised herself by knowing.  Wrenching the door open she stood by the car and screamed as loud and as hard as she could.

"Feel better for that?" a warm, gentle voice invaded the silence.

"What?" Jess jumped.

"Hey Jess."

"Daniel?  What are you?  Why are you?  Daniel?"

"It's me," he took human form right in front of her.

"Now is not a good time for me," is all she could think to say.

"Actually that's why I'm here."

"It is?  You are here?  I'm not just hallucinating?"

"I am here," he assured her.

"Well that's a relief, I thought maybe I was finally losing it big time."

"You sound like Jack," he joked.  Daniel studied her.  "You look great."

"Thanks.  So do you, which I still find pretty weird.  What is it like, being the way you are now?" Jess's curiosity got the better of her.

"Oh Jess it's amazing, I've seen such things, I wish I could show you, it's an incredible place this universe of ours."

Jess leant against the car hood, "Are you happy?"

"Happiness is relative don't you think?  I'm happy I was given a second chance, I'm happy I'm not dead, but when I see something wrong, something evil and can't interfere then I'm not happy."

"You can't interfere?" she was surprised.

"We operate a strict 'hands off' policy."

"Oh," Jess rubbed her arms, aware suddenly of being dressed only in a t-shirt and the temperature had dropped dramatically with the onset of night.

"Are you cold?" Daniel asked, concerned.

"A little," she admitted.  "Could do with a hug."

"Sorry," Jess could hear genuine regret in his voice, "Non corporeal body and all."

"Ah."

"I would if I could.  There are some things being made up of energy really can't compensate for," there was a hint of a twinkle in his eye.  "Hugging you comes high on that list."

Jess smiled despite her earlier despair, "I can't believe just how much I've missed you Daniel Jackson."

"Likewise Jessie Pallister.  Now, about my being here tonight, which strictly speaking is not in keeping with the non interference policy."

"Yes, I was going to get round to asking you about that," she said.  "Once I'd got my head round being able to talk to you again."

"I know."

"You can read minds now?" Jess looked wary.

"Not read, more sense a persons intentions.  Don't feel so uncomfortable, I'm very proud of you."

"You are?"

"Over the past months life has dealt you some pretty cruel blows but you've always fought back, you've always found a way through, you always come out the other end stronger.  Yes of course I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, I think."

"So what are we going to do with Jack?" Daniel asked.

"You know…?" Jess was mortified.

"We go where our lives take us.  You did the right thing.  Jack needs you, he needs you to help him put his life back together again.  He can't do it on his own.  He needs that inner strength of yours."

"What exactly happened to him?  What is it he refuses to talk about to anyone?"

"Only Jack can tell you that," Daniel glanced round.  "Time's up.  Stick with it Jess, I promise it'll be worth it.  He needs a great woman and you're the greatest I know."  Daniel began to fade.  "I love you Jessie."

"I love you too Daniel.  Come back soon."

"Count on it."

Jack's truck lights illuminated the night sky.  He drove past her crippled car, turned the truck around and rolled to a stop.  So the feeling he'd had that she needed rescuing had been right.  Weird.

"I'm cold, I'm pissed as hell with you and I'm starving.  So unless you have something warm and an apology I'm not interested," Jess told him bluntly.

Jack climbed from the truck carrying one of his sweaters.  "Here."

"Thanks," Jess pulled it on.  "And?"

"I'm sorry, I was completely out of order shouting at you.  It's not you I'm mad at it's me.  I had no right to take that out on you."

"Not bad," she told him.  "Okay, I forgive you."

Jack smiled, "Want a lift?"

"That'd be good, I think I killed it," Jess indicated the car.

"So I see.  I'll get it towed tomorrow.  Come on.  Let's go home."

Supper over, Jess curled up in a corner of the couch and watched Jack as he washed and dried all the dishes (his additional punishment for being such a jerk).  He hadn't talked much since they returned; now all she had to do was try to find a chink in his armour and get inside.

"Do you think we might talk without falling out this time?" she asked.

"Tricky."

"Come and sit with me," Jess patted the couch by her side, "Let me be near you for a while."

"Maybe I should shower first, I'm not as fresh as I might be."

"Stop running away.  It's okay that you don't want to sleep with me again, I think I've just about accepted that it was clearly some kind of monumental error on your part, I haven't quite figured what I did wrong to make it that way but I'm not going to let it eat away at me anymore."  Jess held her hand out to him.  "Let's at least try to be friends.  My life is too dull and quiet without you in it."

"I wish I could explain," Jack took her hand, rubbing his thumb over the smooth flesh.   "I used you and I feel bad about that."

"I didn't exactly make it difficult for you to use me, I wanted you pretty bad, I still want you, that will never change.  You're sexy as hell, you have a fabulous smile and the best eyes in the world, and when I'm with you I feel safe, safer than I've ever felt in my life."

"Jess don't," Jack dropped her hand and backed away.  "I can't be what you want me to be."

"I think you're wrong about that but I'm in no mood to argue any more tonight.  Tonight I just want to be here with you."

"No Jess, I'm sorry, no."  Jack turned abruptly and headed for the bathroom.  With a sigh Jess uncurled from the couch, blew out the candles and headed for bed.  She'd just have to keep on trying.

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**Chapter 18.      At last, the truth**

Jess woke with a start.  Her room was still dark, morning was some hours away.  So what had woken her?  There was a noise.  Jess sat up, wide-awake.  Was it Jack?  She listened again.  Nothing.  Creeping out of bed Jess cut through the living room and opened his bedroom door as silently as possible.  Nothing.  Maybe she'd imagined it.  But as she was there… Jess moved further into the room and stole a moment just to watch him sleep, to look at him for more than a few fleeting seconds which it seemed was all he was willing to allow these days.  For four days Jack had faded in and out, never around long enough for Jess to get a fix on, barely long enough for her to speak to let alone feed.  He was like the wind.

Well that was new; he'd shaved and looked like he'd had his hair cut in town as well.  Better.  Taking an interest in his appearance had to be a good sign.

"No!" Jack cried and almost jack-knifed out of bed.  Jess froze to the spot.  "Daniel you have got to make it stop.  I can't go through that again."  Jack twisted and turned, clearly deeply distressed and in the grip of a nightmare.  His calling out must have been what woke her in the first place.

"Jack," Jess sat on the edge of the bed and smoothed his hair.  "It's okay, you're safe now, you're home."

"Daniel!"

"No lovey it's me, Jess.  I need for you to wake up now," Jess spoke a little more firmly and stroked his face.  "Wake up Jack, time to get out of your dream."

"Jess?" Jack struggled to wakefulness, "What?  Jess?"

"It's me and you're safe and well in your own bed in your beloved Minnesota.  You were having a bad dream is all."

"I was still there," his voice caught.  "Jeez, you have no idea what it was like."

"I'd like to learn," Jess stretched out beside him and Jack found comfort in her proximity.  "Tell me."

"It was the knowing," he said eventually.  "Knowing that when I heard them coming for me I was going to die and then I would wake in that… coffin and it would all start over."  He closed his eyes in total despair.  "I've been held captive before, hell I've been tortured plenty enough but never like that, knowing my body was going to fail and be brought back over and over."

Jess gathered him in her arms the way she would comfort a child and held him as the worst of the shivers passed.  Jack had to let go; he had to share this burden with somebody before it consumed him completely.

"No man should be made to suffer the way you did," she ran her fingers through his hair, rubbing his back, trying to make him relax, fell safe wrapped in her unconditional love.  "I won't let them get you again I promise.  Try and sleep again, I'll stay with you."

"You don't need to do that," he raised himself and looked down at her.  "You've done enough already by being here."

"I want to help Jack, I want to do this, I will do this, even if Daniel hadn't stuck his oar in I would still be doing this."

"Daniel!" Jack's eyes flew open.  "What do you mean Daniel?"

"You'll think I'm crazy."

"Tell me."

"The night I wrecked the car on that hideous track, Daniel and I had a long talk."

"He was here?" now Jack scooted away from her.  "What did he tell you?"

"That I was doing the right thing in trying to help you even if you weren't exactly the easiest person to help.  He wants to see you happy, I think he wants to see me happy too."  Jess watched him draw further and further from her both physically and emotionally.  What the hell was going on inside him?  "What is it that makes you so uncomfortable with me Jack?  What have I done so wrong?  I honestly thought the night we spent together meant something to you, I know it did to me.  And yet look at us now," she rounded on him, rising to her knees and letting him see for the first time a glimpse of her hurt and anger.  Dammit why shouldn't she be cross, he couldn't even bear to be in the same room as her for more than a few minutes, she had every right to be good and pissed at him and maybe it was time for some of that to come out.  "You used me Jack O'Neill and that's something I swore I'd never let happen again, but there you were full of such bullshit and fool that I am I fell for it.  God you must think me so stupid, so easy, so gullible.  A couple of clever lines and I'm on my back for you.  Daniel told me you were a good man, Janet, Cassie, they all think you're worth redeeming.  Am I the only one who's beginning to wonder if you haven't in fact just taken us all in.  Because I'm not sure any more just what kind of man you are.  I came here to help, I was prepared to put up with your mood swings, I wanted to make you whole again.  At this very moment I don't actually think you're worth my time or my effort.  Well fine, Jessie Pallister had just woken up to reality.  You carry on fighting your inner demons but count me out."

Jess had reached the bedroom door when Jack tackled her, sending them both tumbling to the floor.

"Get off me," she fought him, which was pretty futile.  "Jack you're scaring me," Jess was forced to admit as he held her down, an unreadable look on his face, grip as hard as steel.  "Please Jack."

"I can't be with you the way I want to be because of Daniel," he said through gritted teeth.  "Do you think I feel proud of the way I treated you?"

"I assumed that night was an aberration on your part and I'd been shut away in another of your emotional boxes to be stored on a shelf next to Sam," Jess told him bluntly.

"For cryin' out loud," he closed his eyes to keep her from seeing the pain her words were causing.  "The only ONLY reason I agreed to having that 'thing' in my head was because I wanted to live more than anything at that moment.  I wanted to walk out of the base and go home to you.  I was making plans down there in Antarctica, I was actually looking forward to the future."  He rolled away from her suddenly and covered his face with his hands, curling his body into a tight ball of misery.  Jess lay silent, watching, waiting.  It had to be now.

"And then I woke up into some gothic horror movie, the snake was gone and I was completely alone.  He used me to rescue Shaylin and she didn't even recognise him and believe me that hurt the little bastard.  But she had to be safe before he'd relax his complete hold over me.  The pain Jess, the pain was… there aren't words to describe it," he fell silent as he relived the torture in his mind.  "And then one time they took me back to my cell and there he was."

"Daniel?" she asked quietly.

"Daniel.  Come to help me.  What a laugh.  Couldn't break me out, couldn't steal me a zat, but he could help me to ascend.  Some choice."

"Why didn't you?" Jess edged closed and for the first time since her arrival at the cabin Jack turned to her for comfort.  With his head cradled on her breast he continued.  "If I can't be alive, completely alive, eating, breathing, sleeping, then I want to be dead.  Not stuck in some in-between place.  Existing as energy, I mean, what is that?"

"It seems to be working out for him."

"I am not Daniel."

"I know that.  Daniel never scared me."

"I'm sorry," Jack's fingers curled around her wrist.  "It wasn't intentional."

"I know … now," Jess smiled to herself.  "So tell me more of your time with Daniel."

"There isn't much to tell, we talked, we argued, I tossed my shoe through him, the usual.  At one point I asked Daniel to help me end it, to make sure the next time I died I stayed that way.  He wouldn't do that either."

"And I'm very glad he wouldn't," said Jess.

"It just went on and on.  Then he went away, I don't know how long for, but I rather think he found a loophole in the non interference policy."

"I rather think he did," Jess agreed.  "That must have been around the first time he came to me.  I didn't get it at first, I thought he was just being overly cryptic, he told me it was almost over and I had much to look forward to.  Days later came the call to let me know you were home."

"So I'm not the only one he's been bugging," said Jack wryly.  "Gotta love him."

"I think I get it now," the light was dawning for Jess.  "You are running away from me because of Daniel."

"Don't sound so surprised.  What else can I do?  Daniel is still very much around and a part of your life as well as mine.  I have absolutely no place trying to come between you."

"Oh Jack, why didn't you tell me this when you first got back, I'd have understood why you were rejecting me."

"I'm sorry.  It would have meant having to tell the doc and all the others that I'd been helped to stay sane by a big ball of energy.  I had a feeling they might show me the door pretty quick if I tried that one."

"Daniel should not be an issue," said Jess.  "Do you think if he minded so much our being together he would have told me you were coming home or encouraged me to help you?  He left me Jack, when you had the choice you chose life, he chose ascendancy knowing it would involve leaving me behind.  And I have accepted his decision, the least he can do is accept when I feel the time is right to move on with my life, which I'm pretty sure he has."  As Jess spoke the words a tremendous sense of peace filled her, she knew she was right.  "I know he has."

"See now I don't get that.  How can you know?"

"I can feel it, like he's whispering in my mind."

"You mean he's right here right now?" Jack shot away from her and pressed himself to the farthest wall.

"No I don't mean he's here with us.  Oh, right, so there's that as well.  You'll always be expecting him to drop by."

"It's what he does.  I look at you I find myself wondering where he is.  Is he in the room with you, is he watching you, is he watching me touch you?"

"You want me to extract a promise from him, something along the lines of he'll ring a bell or something to warn us of his imminent arrival?  Could you get past this block of yours if you had his word?"

"Just having to ask is admitting to him that I want to sleep with his girl, that I want to do those things he can't anymore and that makes me uncomfortable."

"I'm way too tired for this," Jess yawned and rubbed her eyes.  "I need to sleep.  We'll work things out better in the morning.  Come to bed."

"With you?" he looked horrified.

"No, with Teal'c.  Get in bed Jack and that's an order."

"Gee I just love it when you get all masterful," he said with a faint grin.

"Good, now get in bed," Jess crawled under the covers and eventually Jack joined her, keeping as much distance between them as he could.

"I promise not to bite," she said sleepily.  "And I would very much appreciate a cuddle after the alarms and excursions of tonight."

"I can't," his voice tight, emotions barely under control.

Jess reached out and touched his arm, her fingers moving slowly upward and then across his chest.  She could feel his heart beating furiously, the tension in all his muscles; the man was wound so tight it was a wonder he didn't snap.  Moving closer Jess kissed his shoulder and settled next to him, slowly relaxing her body, limb by limb, willing sleep to claim her.  When Jack finally sighed deeply, turned and spooned his body against hers Jess knew he'd taken a huge step forward.  She linked her fingers through his and drifted away, safe in his arms.

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**Chapter 19.      The morning after**

Jack woke slowly from the deepest most trouble free sleep he'd enjoyed in weeks.  As his eyes came into focus they took in the riot of glorious colour on the pillow beside him, all that silky hair, the gentle curve of her cheek, the creamy skin of her shoulder visible where the jacket of her pyjamas had slipped and the light smattering of freckles on that smooth skin.  Jack could picture so clearly the way that soft warm body had moved against him.  He had lived the moment over and over during the trip to Antarctica, he could still remember with such clarity every second they had spent together.

He wanted that again.  If he could only get past the idea of Daniel dropping by at inopportune moments.  Was he just using Daniel as an excuse to keep her at arms length, to make sure he couldn't hurt her any more and she could never hurt him?  Probably.  Was it likely Daniel would choose the very moment he and  Jess …?  Unlikely.  Did he still want her?  Unbearably.

Jack touched her shoulder and Jess turned toward him without opening her eyes.  The hair on his chest tickled her face making her smile.  Jack watched her, she was beautiful and she could be his.

"I'm going to head home today," Jess said, eyes still closed against the reality of morning, her breath moving over his skin.

"Oh," not what he'd been expecting.  "Okay.

"Just okay?" she opened her eyes and looked up at him.  "Is that the best you can manage, okay?"

"I can't make you stay," Jack reasoned.

"This is true.  Don't you want to know why?"

"I kinda guessed you'd tell me whatever I said."

"Well for that I may not," Jess stretched lazily.  "Remember the marker I still hold?" she teased.

"Now is not a good time," Jack closed his eyes and tried to stay calm.

 "Seems a shame to let something so extraordinarily scrumptious go to waste."

"Scrumptious," he laughed despite his fragile mental balance.  "I thought only people like Mary Poppins used words like that."

"Actually it's from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, "Jess corrected.  "Truly Scrumptious.  And sometimes living amongst you colonials I like to exert my Britishness."  While she had been talking Jess had been running her fingers experimentally across his body, feeling his stomach muscles tense under her touch.  "Tell me you don't want  me," Jess kept on stroking those firm abs.  "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't to make love at this very moment and I'll stop, I'll go and I'll respect your decision."

"Jessie," Jack took her face in his hands and she fell into those magical brown eyes.  "I want you, I will always want you.  If I could only sort my head out."

"Stop trying so hard.  Love me fly boy, I'm calling in my marker."  Jess touched her mouth to his, lips parted and Jack couldn't stop his tongue exploring, remembering her delicious taste.  How could he resist such a rare prize?  

This time Jack was determined to take her the distance.  There were stars, there were fireworks, there was an entire heavenly choir.  No kidding.

Hot bodies clung together.  Someone started to laugh, gently at first and gradually building, drawing in the other until they were helpless, caught in a crescendo of pure happiness.

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**Chapter 20.      The airport**

The airport was smaller than many Jack or Jess had visited, but an airport non the less.  Busy and impersonal, departures and arrivals boards, check-in gates, coffee shops and newspaper stand.

"I still don't get why you're going home now?" Jack said, sounding thoroughly fed up.  Mind blowing sex and she was still leaving him.

Jess slipped her hand in his, "Because I have to."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"No…"

"Shut up," she pressed her mouth to his and a single kiss was enough to make them both dizzy.  "I'm going home," she told him patiently once she was sure her voice would cooperate, "Because it's down to you now.  You have to decide, you have to choose just what it is you want.  And you can't do that with me around.  Take your time, work out what it is you want to do with your life."  Jess touched his face lovingly.  "Do you want to stay in Minnesota, retire from the programme and spend your days fishing?  Or do you want to come back to Colorado Springs, tell Janet exactly what happened to you, how Daniel was involved, get yourself a clean bill of health and go back to work?  Do you want more of that amazing hot sex as much as I do?"

"Yes.  Now."

"Jack."

"You expect me to figure all this out on my own?" he looked horrified.

"I'm hoping I've already helped you towards your decision, the last bit shouldn't be so hard."

"Last call for flight 1203 to Colorado Springs," the tannoy system rang out.

Jess wrapped her arms around him.  "I care deeply for you Jack, I want more than anything to stay but it has to be this way.  Look after yourself fly boy, and this morning was… the best."

"Stay with me Jessie," he held her tight.

"Come home to me," she replied.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 21.      Jack's return**

"Colonel O'Neill!  When did you get back?"

"Last night.  A friend of yours convinced me I should tell you the bits I missed out of my original de-brief."

"I see."  Janet put down her pen, closed the report on her desk and gave the Colonel her full attention.  "You want to do this with me?  Perhaps Doctor Phillips…?"

"No.  You.  You sent her, you should know."

"Of course."

"Are you sitting comfortably?" Jack smiled.  "Then I'll begin."

"Doctor Fraiser, was that Colonel O'Neill I saw leaving the base earlier?"

"Yes indeed General."

"Care to enlighten me?"

"I think, sir, the plan worked.  Colonel O'Neill has filed an additional report regarding his captivity.  It makes for an interesting read," Janet handed over a file and the General scanned the report.

"Doctor Jackson?" baffled he looked at Janet.

"Yes sir.  It seems Daniel is indeed alive and well all be it in a form far removed from our own."

"Very well.  I think I'd better take my time over this one," he slipped the folder under his arm.  "Thank you Doctor."

"General sir, one last thing," Janet called after him.

"Yes?"

"My professional evaluation of Colonel O'Neill is that he is fit to resume active duty."

"Thank you Doctor, I'll take that into consideration."

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**Chapter 22.      Colorado Springs**

Jess zipped her gym bag closed, pulled her still wet hair back into a ponytail and headed out of the ultra-modern smoked glass and concrete building, for the short walk home.

From his truck Jack caught sight of her the moment she stepped into the bright spring sunshine.  His heart lurched.  That was his girl.  She looked great even in exercise wear.  The skintight jogging trousers showed her butt to maximum advantage, made him want to feel it in his hands, and as the loose jacket flapped in the breeze he could just make out the cut off top that stopped several inches above her waist.  Dear God it was little more than underwear, form fitting around the swell of her tantalising breasts.  And all of that was his for the taking.  Life was good.

Jack was about to climb out of the truck when he saw an all too familiar blond head appear from a car parked further down the street.  He watched as Jess stopped to greet his second in command and could see, even from a distance the look of disappointment when all she received back was a curt nod before Sam strode off toward the gym herself.  Looks like Sam's none too impressed with my involvement with Jess, he deduced, well I'm sorry Sam you know I wouldn't intentionally hurt you but for once you're just going to have to get over it.  This situation is not going to go away, not like Laira.  I'll find a way to make it right with you, I promise.  But not today.  Then he did step out and with his long legs covered the distance between himself and his goal in moments.

"Hey teacher lady."

Jess turned.  "Hey fly boy.  Welcome home."

"Is that the best you can do?"

"Oh!" Jess tried to look surprised.  "So they allow sex on the sidewalk in these parts do they?"

Jack laughed delightedly, "Don't mind finding out.  Come here."

She dropped her gym bag and flung herself into his open arms.  "These have been two very long weeks," she said into the soft material of his shirt.  "What the hell kept you?"

"Actually I've been back in town a week."

"You have?" she tilted her face up to look at him and Jack caught her completely off-guard with his first kiss.

"Knock it off," Jess tried to push him away.

"Can't do that," he kissed her again.  "We have two weeks to make up for."

"Then we'd really better get off the street," Jess hooked her fingers in the back pockets of his jeans, pulling his body tight to hers.  "Tell me one thing."

"Name it," said Jack.

"Are we… what I mean is are you…?"

"I certainly hope so.  Get in the truck, I want you naked in the next five minutes."

"You place or mine?"  Jess could hardly breathe, she wanted him so badly.

"Yours is closest."

"Drive fast."

"Yes ma'am."

Jess rolled onto her stomach and studied Jack.  It looked an awful lot as though he was asleep.  Not good enough."

"Hey," she dug a finger in his ribs.

"Not again," he groaned.  "I'm an old man, I need my rest."

"I'm not after your body just yet, I respect the needs of the older generation.  However," Jess prodded him again.  "I do want an explanation."

"Of what?  Worm hole physics may be beyond me just now."

"Of why it's taken you two weeks to get back in my bed."

"Oh that.  Later."

"Now," Jess leant over and ran her tongue from his breastbone to his stomach button causing Jack to groan.  "The only way you're going to get any peace fly boy is to give me what I want."

"I thought I had," he said.

"That was a mutual thing.  Spill."

"Then can I sleep?"

"Maybe," her fingers tracked slowly down his chest.  "Tell me why it took you two weeks."

"Okay, but you're gonna have to stop that, doesn't help me think straight.  Right.  Well first week I wasted on the Minnesota option, trying to convince myself I didn't need any complications in my life, I didn't need work, all I needed was my pond and my fish.  You were right, as much as that pains me to admit, I had to be sure.  Now I am."

"Not retiring then?"

"Nah, it's getting a bit old.  Not giving your body up either.  So I packed up, closed down the cabin and headed home.  Had a long chat with the doc, submitted myself to all her poking and prodding and psychological evaluations."

"And?  Come on Jack, what did she decide?"

"Doctor Fraiser and General Hammond have reconsidered their earlier insane decision to stand me down and I'm back on the active roster as of 0600 hours Monday."

"Excellent," Jess's hand crept round his waist and Jack opened his eyes.

"How about my sleep?"

"You'll live," Jess kissed his stomach.  "I'll make sure of that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yeah.  Then you can sleep," she told him, stroking his face.

"I might just have to die."

"And miss out on more of the same?" she asked.

"Okay, living, definitely living."

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**Chapter 23.      A visit from an old friend II**

Jess was lost in a familiar dream landscape.  Back were the smoky atmospherics and floaty white dress.

"Come out come out wherever you are."

"How did you know it was me?" Daniel came into focus.

"The frock was the giveaway."

"I'm getting predictable already," he smiled and Jess could sense a great deal of sadness in him.  She had a feeling she knew why.

"Are you here to tell me I've made a huge mistake?" she asked.

"Can I say I wish I was, but no, not at all."

"Jack returns to work Monday, it's what everyone wanted, you included.  He's working it through."

"I know," Daniel paced slowly round the limbo place they inhabited.  "I've come to say goodbye," he said eventually.

"I guessed it was something like that," she replied.               

"I have to let go and move on.  I know everything is going to work out just fine.  I know Jack will go on giving you frights when a mission doesn't end on time or when he gets himself hurt off world.  I also know he's ready for you, he needs you in a way I never did, and believe me that is not an easy thing to admit."

"You can see into the future or is this just ascended intuition?" Jess wanted to know.

"A little of both you might say.  I see one possible future but there are no guarantees that is how it'll play out.  There are so many variables."

"Why the long face Daniel?  You left me a long time ago in reality."  Jess studied his face closely.  "Or is this about Jack?  You were fine with the idea in the abstract and one night did not a relationship make?"

Daniel grinned briefly, "Guilty as charged."

Jess looked round her, "Can you magic in something to sit on, this feels weird, standing here having this conversation."  Next thing she knew Jess was staring up at the stars.  Instead of chairs Daniel changed the dream to a huge bed with nothing but the night sky above her.  "Not exactly what I had in mind," she pointed out, rolling on her side and finding Daniel mirroring her position.

"Couldn't resist."

"Try harder."

His non-corporeal hand reached out and flowed along the line of her arm, not touching (impossible), making all the tiny hairs on her skin feel as though a sudden gentle breeze was moving across them.  The sensation made her shiver.

"That's not helping Daniel."

"You can feel me?"

"I can feel what I assume is you," said Jess.  "What are you trying to achieve exactly?"

"Trying to remember how it felt."

"What?"

"Your skin, your hair, your lips, all those things I'll never touch for real again."

"Tell me something," Jess willed herself to ignore the strange sensation of being stroked by a big ball of energy.  "Was becoming what you became your only option?"

"It doesn't matter," Daniel replied.

"It does to me.  Could you have gone on living?"

"Possibly," he admitted.  "Jacob may have been able to repair some but not all of the damage.  A symbiote may have been able to do the rest, it was all hypothetical at best."

"You would still have been alive though."

"I had to make a choice," he said.

"And so have I."

"Ah," the light was dawning.  "Choices."

"Losing you was so hard Daniel because you just vanished, no funeral, no memorial, no normal way to grieve.  Now I have a chance at something tangible, something real.  If you have to say goodbye to me to enable you to come to terms with my relationship with Jack then do it, but I'd much rather a part of you stuck around.  I like our chats, I hope we might always be friends.  Jack would too.  He doesn't accept it yet but in time he will, he would miss you if you never dropped by again."

"I know this," Daniel rolled on his back and gazed up at the stars.  "I've been having a problem coming to terms with what I am.  Eternity is one hell of along time."

"I guess it is," she agreed, turning to examine the stars herself.  "So tell me more about this life you see for me.  Am I going to enjoy it?"

"Do you want to?"

"Very much.  And I want you to enjoy eternity too."

"Say hi to Jack for me."

"Time to go?"

"Time to go," said Daniel.  "See you around."

"No goodbyes."

Jess let her eyes open slowly.  Home again.  Her bed, her bedroom, her Colonel.  This was where she wanted to be.  Jack stirred, reached out in his sleep and his hand settled protectively on her leg.  Such a simple thing and yet it was enough to bring a lump to her throat.  Even in sleep he knew she was there, wanted her to be there.  Jack O'Neill, she stroked his hand, my future.

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Chapter 24.      Christmas II 

The phone rang.  "Cassie can you get that."

"Sure Jess."  From the living room she could hear Cassie's voice but not the actual words being spoken.  "They're on their way," Cassie announced.

"Right then, I think we're ready."

"This is so cool, Jack's going to love it."

Jess studied the room.  Yes, it did look great, there was a great deal of work involved and she just wished she could share the absolute conviction of youth that it was going to be a success.

"Kitchen," Jess announced.  "There are still vegetables to prepare, the table to set and the wine to open."

"You don't work me this hard at school," Cassie complained.

"I've been saving my serious nagging for a special occasion, this one," Jess joked.  "So what do you want?"

"I'll take the table, the veggies are all yours."

Sam, Teal'c and Jonas arrived first by design, Janet having volunteered to find a plausible excuse to delay Jack and give them a head start.  Things were still stilted between Jess and Sam but Jess was determined not to let it spoil the day.  Jonas planted a huge kiss on her cheek, it was an earth custom he enjoyed, Teal'c inclined his head in typical Teal'c fashion and Sam managed a smile.  There was barely time for this brief meet and greet before the familiar sound of Jack's truck pulled up out front.  They all froze.

"He must have broken the speed limit all the way here," Sam observed wryly.

"Well here goes nothing," Jess took a deep breath and went to meet him at the door.

"Now see, this is the perfect way to start my evening," Jack told her, slipping off his sunglasses and grinning broadly.  "A cold beer in the fridge and a hot woman on my porch.  Hey hot woman, fancy getting naked right here right now?"

Jess pulled the door to behind her to save any further embarrassment.  "We might upset the neighbours."

"Make them jealous more like.  Hey you boring old folks," he raised his voice.  "Look what I've got waiting for me, aren't I so gonna get some."

"Oh look, here's Janet for Cassie, she spent the day with me," Jess changed the subject fast before he could get any worse.

"Let's get rid of them fast, I have designs on your body teacher lady," Jack pulled her into his arms and kissed her most thoroughly.

"Later I promise," Jess eased free of his vice like grip.  "Hey Janet."

"Hey doc, come for the brat?"

"Yes Colonel, and Jess has kindly invited us to supper."

"She has has she?" Jack growled at Jess.

"Stop it fly boy.  Come on in Janet, don't mind him it's just his age, not good at coping with change to his routine."

"I had noticed," said Janet dryly.

"You are going to pay," Jack warned Jess.  He stepped through the front door and ground to a halt, the two women only just managed to avoid cannoning into him.  "What the…?"

"Happy Christmas," came the chorus.

"Last time I checked it was June," Jack pointed out.

Jess slipped her arm round his waist.  "Last time we had to celebrate without you and that didn't seem fair.  So, for one day only, your very own Christmas."

"You are all nuts."  He slowly took in the detail, the decorated tree, the table groaning under the weight of silverware and china, his favourite wine opened.  Amazing.  "Are there presents?"

"Indeed," Teal'c said.  "And a sizeable feast."

Jack looked at Jess, she was nervous and that was so endearing.  "All this for me?" he asked.  "Why?"

"Because you're worth it, and it's a good excuse for a party."

"Where are my presents?"

"Somebody please get this man his gifts," said Jess and gaudily wrapped boxes were thrown at Jack from every direction.

Jess caught Janet's eye and they both smiled broadly.  From the moment Jess had asked for her help organising Jack's special day she had had a blast.  From sweet talking a forest ranger for the tree to finding Christmas wrapping paper in a quaint little back street shop, to watching Jess create a typically British Christmas lunch it had been such fun.  And from the look Jack was giving Jess, even though she wasn't even looking in his direction, the effort was going to pay dividends.

Once General Hammond arrived they all fell on her Christmas lunch as if they hadn't had a square meal in weeks, which given the current intensity of work commitments was a high probability.  To watch the table clear under their onslaught made Jess positively glow with pleasure.  Over coffee and mints the sun finally set in a blaze of glory and the tree lights were switched on.  All were full of rich food, relaxed and content.  There were halfhearted offers of help with the dishes but Jess shooed them all out.  The men headed for Jack's den to watch sport on TV, Sam and Janet to the living room to vegetate and Cassie to the porch to talk on her phone to the current boyfriend.

"So when are you going to forgive her?" Janet asked.

"Excuse me?" Sam opened her eyes.  "Forgive who?"

"Jess."

"Oh please Janet, not now."

"Why not now.  You have to face facts Sam.  I saw you watching him over dinner.  You must see he's a lost cause."

"I know," with a sigh Sam closed her eyes again.  "I do know it Janet.  I know he'll never look at me that way, he didn't before she was added to the mix.  He's in love.  It hurts.  And yes I do have to get over it.  I will.  I just always thought that one day, one day our time would come, no work, no rules, no regulations, just him and me and… and I don't know.  I think today has helped me see I'm clutching at straws.  Time to move on."

"Well I'm very glad, you're both my friends and I want what's best for you both.  Jess makes him whole.  There's always Lieutenant Simmons."

"Janet," Sam snorted.  "Don't start your meddling with me."

"I wouldn't dare."

Jack found Jess still in the kitchen, wiping clean the surfaces.  "Leave that," he took her hand.  "Come on."

Up the outside steps to his rooftop observatory platform where all was quiet save the occasional sound of Cassie's voice still on the telephone.

"Have you had a good Christmas?" Jess asked, settling on his lap and sinking into his arms.

"The best," he told her.  "No one has ever done anything like this for me."

"Will you try and be home for the real one this year?"

"I'll do my best.  Will you spend it here with me?"

"Here or Minnesota, I'm easy."

"Seeing you on the porch tonight felt good, it felt right.  I think it may be time for you to give up that apartment and be on my porch every night."

"I think you could be right, and time to let go of Daniel once and for all.  I'll contact the agent on Monday.  Do you suppose there's a museum or research facility I can donate his work to?"

"Probably not without getting in serious trouble.  I'll have a word with Hammond, see if he can do something with it all."  Jack curled a tendril of her glorious hair round his finger.  "Can we throw them out now?"

"No we can't," said Jess with a laugh.

"Jess?  Are you up there?" called out Cassie.

"Go back to your phone child," Jack replied.  "We're making out up here."

"Eeeuw, gross!"

"Jack O'Neill behave yourself," Jess warned him.

"Not a chance.  I'm planning on growing old disgracefully right here with you," he kissed her deeply and it felt so right.  Not since his life with Sara and Charlie had anything ever felt this right.  "You know," he went on, fingers slowly creeping up under the hem of her short skirt.  "That wasn't such a bad idea of mine."

"Stop," Jess hissed at him and tried to still his hand.  "You have got to be joking."

"I never joke about sex with you, it's more of a religious experience.  And I feel the need to be near God right now."

"Cassie is too close by and we have a house full of guests."

"Cass has just gone indoors," his fingers creeping higher.  "I want you Jessie, right here under the stars.  Show me a miracle."

Jess sighed, "One of these days I am going to figure out how to say no to you."

"No hurry," he assured her.  "I love your legs teacher lady, they are a serious turn on for me, that and the fact you're so ticklish just behind the knees," he demonstrated.

"No," she begged.  "Not the knees, Jack that is so unfair."  Jess tried to wriggle away.

"Play with me Jessie."

"Not with an audience.  Once they've gone you can do anything you want, I promise."

"Anything?" there was a dangerous glint in his eye.

"Within reason.  Release me fly boy."

"Can't do that ma'am.  Just close your eyes and think of merry old England."

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**25.        Is this real?**

"Jess, hey Jess, wake up sleepy head."

"I'm awake," she groaned.  "Kind of."

"Let's go.  Coffee's ready.  You have just enough time to shower."

"Okay," Jess rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom, it was easier than arguing for a few more minutes in bed and he was a difficult man to ignore at the best of times.

Beyond the car window the day was perfect.  The sky pure unbroken blue, the trees in full leaf, dancing and moving in the lightest of breezes, flowers blooming, birds singing.

"Somebody up there like us," Jess observed.

"You could say," he agreed.  "Ah, here we go."

Cassie appeared, waving like a windmill and they pulled up alongside.  "What kept you?" she demanded.

"Jess wouldn't get out of bed.  Ow!" this as she thumped him.

"Well you're here now," Cassie continued.  "Come on, everyone's waiting," and she was gone, running on ahead, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure they followed.

"Shall we?"

"We shall," replied Jess as he slid his arm round her shoulders and they followed Cass at a more sedate pace.

Janet had really gone to town on the picnic, the trestle table was groaning under the weight of food.

"Jessie!" Janet hugged her friend.  "You look fantastic."

"Two weeks R&R with nothing more pressing than where to eat," said Jess.  "It was heaven."  She caught his eye and smiled.  "Absolute heaven."

"Hey guys," Sam hugged them both.  "Good holiday?"

"The best," he replied.  "Have I missed anything good?"

"Not a thing."

"Like you'd tell me anyway," he teased.

"Daniel, good of you to return."

"Hey Jack."

"And my favourite teacher lady, looking sexier then ever might I add," Jack kissed her fondly.  "Guess I'm gonna have to work harder than ever to win you now."

"I guess you are," Jess replied.  She tried to ignore the strange sensation that wrapped around her with the touch of his lips to her skin.  Without thinking her fingers moved to her cheek to touch the actual contact area.

"Are you okay?" Daniel sounded concerned.

"Mm?  Oh, yes, sorry," Jess gave herself a mental shake.  "Still a little jet lagged is all."

The sun moved slowly across the sky.  A game of 'Jack's rules' baseball was followed by lunch and the party slowed while they took their time to digest all the goodies they'd consumed.  Cassie and her boyfriend were the only two with enough energy to carry on tossing a Frisbee.  Janet, with her large sun hat pulled over her face, was asleep.  Jack, lying on his stomach chewing on a blade of grass was watching the kids.  Sam, her head resting in the small of his back was reading a science magazine.  Daniel, back resting against a convenient tree had his arms wrapped around Jess, chin resting lightly on her shoulder.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"The hammock on the beach," Jess replied.

"Oh yes," his lips brushed her temple.  "That was some sunset."

"Actually I was thinking about the sex but yes, pretty spectacular back drop."

Daniel laughed and Jack glanced their way.  "What's funny?"

"Holiday memory," Jess told him.

"By that laugh not one you can share in mixed company?"

"Something like that," said Daniel.

Jess caught Jack's eye over the top of his sunglasses.  There was something.  She looked away as unexpected heat crept over her skin.  Get a grip Jess, that's Jack, he doesn't, he couldn't, could he?  As if to reassure herself she turned to Daniel and kissed him long and hard, uncomfortably aware of Jack's unblinking gaze.

"Well," said Daniel a little breathlessly.  "Perhaps we should invest in a hammock of our own."

"Hammock?" Sam only caught the word and looked up confused.  "Where would you put a hammock in your apartment?"

"They're talking about sex," Jack told her.

"Oh," the light dawned.  "Holiday hammock, right," and she returned to her reading.

"Okay," said Jess.  "Now I really am embarrassed.  Time for more sport I think.  What's next on your agenda Jack?"

"I thought you'd never ask," he replied with a grin.

Evening drew in and it was back to Jack's where the grill was lit, the burgers cooked, the beer opened.  Cassie, true to form, threw mustard all down the front of her white t-shirt.  Without thinking Jess marched the girl into the kitchen where she unhesitatingly went straight to the cupboard containing Jack's cleaning equipment.

"Now how…?" she started to ask herself.

"How what?" Cassie wanted to know.

How on earth did I know where to look for spot remover in Jack's kitchen?  "Nothing," said Jess.

For the remainder of the evening Jess couldn't throw the sensation that something was not quite right.  It was as if images of an amazingly vivid dream kept crowding her thoughts.  As she sat in the circle of Daniel's arm she had only to close her eyes and there was Jack.  Jack leaning against the kitchen cupboard, the very cupboard she'd unerringly reached for earlier, passing her shopping to put away.  Jack on the deck outside, feet up on the rail, beer in one hand, her hand in the other.  Jack pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it in the corner of his bedroom, his eyes hot with desire.  For her.  Dammit there was something very odd going on.

When finally they took their leave, Daniel went on ahead to start the car, Jess turned back to Jack for an instant and that look was back in his eye.  Reaching up she cupped his cheek in her hand.  "Jack…I…"

"Ssh," he said quietly.  "It'll keep.  Look after yourself teacher lady."

"Look after yourself fly boy."

Even at home, crawling under the covers of her own bed, wearing her favourite nightdress, looking at all the familiar objects surrounding her, Jess couldn't shake the feeling.

"You look puzzled," observed Daniel, sliding under the sheet beside her.

"It's nothing."

"Sure?"

"Yes.  No.  Daniel?"

"Mm?"

"Is this real?  Sorry," Jess realised that she'd phrased it badly.  "That probably sounds crazy."

"Explain," he said gently, running his fingers down her arm.

"All day I've felt as though somehow all of this, everything I'm doing isn't quite real.  As if it's all some sort of elaborate dream.  And Jack…" her words trailed off.  How do you say to the man in your bed you don't think he's actually the man you sleep with.  Normally.  Without sounding as if you've completely lost the plot.

"I think I've had a little too much sun," she said eventually.  "I'll be okay in the morning.  Back to normal, if that's possible."

"Okay," Daniel flicked off the light and for a time they lay in silence.

"It's no good," Jess sighed.  "There's something, I know there's something, I'm sure I'm not losing my mind.  If I could just put my finger on it."

"Or you could just let it go," Daniel suggested.  "Forget it and concentrate on the here and now."

"You know what's happening," Jess turned his face toward her.  "You know what it all means.  Tell me Daniel."

"I love you," he touched a finger to her lips.  "Is this reality so difficult to accept?"

"But I know this reality isn't real.  God, now I even sound crazy to myself.  But I don't know what is real.  I'm scared."

"Never be scared," he whispered.  "I'll always be here, I'll always look after you no matter what.  Nothing can ever hurt you.  Go to sleep, it'll all be better in the morning, you'll see."

"What do you mean, better?"

"You're just going to have to trust me," he smiled that private smile of his.  "Go to sleep."

Jess felt her eyes growing heavy and obediently curled up by his side.  If Daniel said it was going to be okay then of course it was going to be okay.

Morning came suddenly in a rush of harsh light and the sound of heavy footsteps.  Jess opened her eyes slowly to see what was causing the racket.

"Well hello," Jack leant forward and peered at her.  "So you've decided to wake up have you?   'Bout time."

"Jack?"

"Yes Jessica?"

"Where am I?" Jess looked round at the strange surroundings.

"Hospital."

"But…why…I mean how?"

"The guys came by the apartment yesterday to move your gear to my house, Jonas and a couple of non coms.  When they couldn't get any answer they rang the base.  I was caught up in something so Teal'c took the spare key and when they got in there you were flat out on the floor.  They brought you here."

"Flat out…I don't understand."

Jack brushed her hair back, "None of us do.  You were unconscious.  Doc says there's no sign of head trauma, just out cold."

"Janet was here?" Jess found it all more and more confusing by the moment.

"You don't think I'd trust you to anyone else?" Jack grinned and in doing so his cheerful façade slipped just enough for Jess to see his underlying fear.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," Jess held her hand out to him and Jack took it.

"Scare me?  Hell it'd take more than you deciding to take a twenty-four hour sleep to scare me," he said.

"You don't have to be all macho for me fly boy."

Jack grinned sheepishly this time.  "Saw straight through me.  What happened to you Jess?"

"I don't actually know," she said completely truthfully.  "I was thinking about all the stuff in the apartment, where it would all fit in the house, had I packed all Daniel's stuff safely, would I ever get the opportunity to explain to him why I sold the piano, and I guess I just passed out."  Then she lied.  "Next thing I knew I was waking up here."

"How do you feel?"

"Actually Colonel I was just about to ask her the very same thing," Janet's voice interrupted.  "Welcome back Jess."

"Janet.  I feel fine.  I feel great, rejuvenated.  Maybe I just needed a rest," Jess suggested.

"Quite possible," said Janet.  "It could simply have been your body's way of telling you to slow up.  I would normally expect it to pass quicker but then there are no hard and fast rules with this kind of thing."

"She's going to be okay?" Jack asked Janet.

"I see no reason why not.  Now why don't you go home and get some rest Colonel before your body decides to take what it needs in the same way Jess's did.  I don't need both of you in here."

"She's right Jack," said Jess.  "Go, sleep, relax.  I'll be fine, cross my heart."

"Okay."  The strength of his kiss gave Jess another clear indicator of his concern and she found herself cupping his cheek in much the same way she had in her dream (if that's what it had been).

"Everything's going to be fine.  I'm going to let Janet prod me about because I can see that's what she's itching to do and then I am coming home.  And you'd better have the coffee on ready."

This time when he smiled it was more relaxed.  "Yes ma'am."

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**Chapter 26.      Unexpected News**

"Jack tells me you're not sleeping well since the incident at the apartment."  Janet took a drink of her coffee and waited.

"Did he," Jess avoided looking at Janet.

"He's worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"So why aren't you sleeping?  Why are you wandering around in the middle of the night almost as if you don't want to be in bed?  If you can't talk to Jack about it can you not talk to me instead?"

This time Jess did meet the other woman's eyes and Janet was shocked at the dark rings and the haunted expression.  "I'm afraid it'll happen again," she said quietly.

"It won't honey."

"You can't know that for sure.  He could…" Jess ground to a halt.

"He?" Janet picked straight up on her error, as Jess had known she would as soon as the word was out of her mouth.

"Slip of the tongue."

"I don't think so.  He.  Jack?"  Jess shook her head.  "Daniel?"

"I can't Janet."

"What did Daniel do?  Talk to me Jess."

"I wasn't asleep," Jess said finally.  "It was a dream but not a dream, it was so real.  Everyone was there, you, Cass, Jack, Sam… and Daniel.  It was as if he'd never left."

"It can only have been a dream," Janet said reasonably.  "Your brain trying to imagine a life for you, which still included Daniel.  Let's face it, it happened at just the time he must have been most on your mind as you were moving out of the home you shared."

"No.  Daniel created it all.  It was Daniel's dream, his imagination.  He made a life for us.  For one day we were a couple again, we were happy, we were in love, everything was perfect."  Tears ran down Jess's cheeks.  "But I couldn't accept it Janet.  I kept getting these flashes of my life now with Jack and it was as confusing as hell.  I didn't know which life was real."

"Let me see if I've got this straight," Janet frowned while she thought.  "Somehow Daniel knocked you out and created an elaborate illusion, some fantasy reality which you actually experienced for the whole time you were unconscious?"

"Essentially yes."

"Okay.  And now you're worried he might try again?"

"I am.  He's lonely Janet, lonely and more than just a little confused and scared.  He once told me that eternity was an awfully long time."

"This has happened before?" Janet looked shocked.

"Not exactly," Jess tried to explain.  "When Jack was… missing he told me when it was almost over.  When I was in Minnesota he talked me into staying and seeing it through when I was about to quit.  He's never really left me."

"That must be… uncomfortable," was the best Janet could manage.

"A little, but I didn't want him to go completely, in a crazy way it was a comfort to know he was still close by.  Or at least it was until he changed the rules.  The occasional pep talk is fine, living out his fantasy is not."

"I can understand that."

"So how do I stop him from doing it again?"

"I don't know," Janet admitted.  "But I think just by being aware will make it harder for him to pull the same stunt again.  And you can't go without sleep indefinitely."

"I know that."

"Want my advice?"

Jess smiled briefly.  "Have I a choice?"

"Nope.  Tell Jack and then put it behind you and move on.  Sleep as normal, live as normal.  Don't let Daniel haunt you the way he haunted Jack."

"Yes doctor."

Rain.  Non-stop heavy, depressing rain.  Jess watched it miserably through the fogged up kitchen window.  All around lay the fruits of her labour.  Cakes, pastries, biscuits, cookies, enough to feed the entire staff of the SGC.  After one week of her own company the stress had reached mammoth proportions and baking was one way of taking her mind off it all.

"Hey, guess who's home," he yelled, slamming the door behind him to keep out the rain.

"In the kitchen," she called back.

"Okay," Jack took in the scene.  "Have I missed a weather warning?  Are we expecting a siege?" he picked up a cookie and bit into it.  "This is good."

"I guess I got a little carried away," Jess laughed self-consciously.

"I have noticed," Jack slid his arms round her, "that when you have something on your mind you often go crazy on the cleaning.  One room usually, top to bottom.  Then you're better.  So why do I think this is gonna be a doozy?"

"It'll keep.  I've missed you.  Is everything alright at the base?"

"That'll keep too," he hedged.

"Go sit down, I'll bring you a beer."

"And cookies, lots of cookies."

"Go."

"I'm gone," snatching another biscuit on his way.

Jess poured coffee for herself, filled a plate with a selection of goodies, snagged him a beer and only when there was absolutely nothing left to use as a delaying tactic followed on through to the lounge.

"Thanks," Jack took the beer and enjoyed that first refreshing pull.  "Better.  Sit," he patted the couch by his side, looking suddenly scarily serious.  "We need to talk."

"Has she said something?" Jess sat with a thump.

"Who?  Said what?"

"Never mind.  Talk about what?"

Jack took a moment; he tucked a lock of escaped hair behind her ear and pulled gently on the lobe.  He would have given anything not to have this conversation; it was almost as bad as the day he had to tell her Daniel was gone.  "Something kinda weird happened during our last mission."

"That's not so unusual, weird is your middle name Colonel."

"This was over and above the usual weird.  Daniel came back, I mean back as in human, real, breathing, flesh and blood."

"This is a joke right?"

"No joke," Jack looked away, out of the window and concentrated on the night.  He didn't want Jess to pick up on his fear.

From the moment Daniel had literally fallen to earth Jack had been living a nightmare.  Daniel was human again, there was no longer any reason for Jess to be with him, they could take up exactly where they'd left off if that was what she wanted.  And how could she possibly not want.

Jess's brain was having trouble assimilating his news, it was all too unexpected.  "Why?"

"It's complicated.  What I need to know is do you want to see him, do you want some time with him.  Jess I need to know if you would rather be with him than me."  There, said it, hadn't been easy but he'd managed.

Jess stared at him.  "Be with Daniel?"

"You don't have to give me your answer right now, I know I've given you a lot to think about," Jack continued.

"I don't need to think about anything," she told him bluntly.  "Yes I would like to see him, I expect the transition to non-ascension had to have been pretty traumatic.  But that last bit?  Are you nuts?  Or has this given you the perfect excuse to get me out of your life?  You've done that to me once before, is this what you're trying to do again?"

"That's plain crazy," Jack was deeply insulted.  "You are the first and only woman I have cared enough about since… since Sara to want to share my life with.  That will not be changing any time soon.  But now you have a choice."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do," getting angry now.

"No I don't," Jess raised her voice to match.  "There is no choice here.  I love you."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Now she was good and mad.  "Are you saying it was a mistake to fall in love with you?  Well thanks Jack, thanks a lot.  You certainly know how to make me feel so good about myself."  Without thinking Jess crossed the room, flung open the front door and headed out into the rain, needing to put some distance between herself and the focus of her anger.

Jack was quick to follow, caught her shoulder and spun her round.  "What is it with you woman, always running out on me?"

"I'm just reacting to your obvious need to drive me away, you are oh so good at that Jack O'Neill."

"I just don't want to stand in your way.  You love Daniel."

"Loved," Jess yelled at him, losing it big time.  "I loved Daniel but that's gone now.  Gone, finished, he gave away any hold he had on my heart when he chose ascension over life.  And anyway you stupid son of a bitch I never felt for Daniel a fraction of what I feel for you, no matter how hard you try to make it for me.  What do I have to do to make you understand?  What do you want of me Jack?"

"You've never said that before," Jack's fingers were digging into her shoulder, his face unreadable.

"What, stupid son of a bitch.  So?"

"No woman.  You never said you loved me until tonight."

"Jesus, Jack O'Neill I love you more than I thought it possible to love anyone."  As fast as her anger had consumed her it faded to nothing and Jess was left feeling empty and hollow.  "I don't ever want to be anywhere without you, I don't ever want anyone but you.  This is it for me and it's scary as hell."

"Why?" Jack was lost.

"I know you don't love me, I know it would be easy for you to walk away, to leave me and the thought terrifies me."

"That is never going to happen," he pulled her into a fierce embrace.  "I love you teacher lady, have done for longer than I guess I should have.  I don't plan on ever giving you up."

"Oh Jack," Jess buried her face in his soaking wet shirt, trying to decide if she wanted to laugh or cry.

"How about we go inside now," he suggested.

"No," Jess drew back.  "There's one more thing."

"And you have to tell me this out here?"

"Yes.  While we're on the truth kick.  The reason for my baking spree."

"Tell me inside," he pleaded, wiping the rain from his face.

"But it's about Daniel."

Jack froze and turned back to face her.  "What about him?"

"He's the reason I haven't been sleeping.  That day in the apartment he did something to me, I don't know what, I was living in some kind of fantasy world he created, but as real as it was I knew it couldn't be real."

"How come?" Jack wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Because of you."  Jess touched his arm.  "Because even in some perfect world of Daniel's I knew I wanted to be with you, I knew it wasn't right.  I remember you kissed my cheek and it was like 'oh wow!'"

He couldn't help but smile.  "Oh wow!  You must show me how exactly some time."

She smiled back.  "I'm sorry I didn't tell you at the time, I think I was embarrassed.  It was like being unfaithful without being unfaithful.  Does that make any sense?"

"Not a bit.  Get inside now," he took her hand and pulled her back through the door, closing it firmly and locking it.  "To stop any further sudden desire to catch pneumonia," he told her.

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**Chapter 27.      Daniel**

Jess took a deep breath.  She could do this.  There was nothing to be worried about.  After all Jack had told her his memory was gone, completely, no trace of the time he'd spent as an ascended being.  Which meant there was no need for the embarrassment she was currently experiencing.  The memory was hers and hers alone.  Which meant…

"Hey Daniel."

Daniel looked up from the book he was reading; he hadn't even heard the door.  "Jess!"

"Hello stranger, how are you doing?" she closed the door and moved across the impersonal army issue quarters Daniel had been assigned within the mountain until he was cleared by the powers that be for reintegration into Stargate Command.

"I'm fine," he lied.  "It's good to see you."

"And you.  I can't quite believe you're actually here," she touched his hand.  Flesh and blood, a warm living human being again.  And completely real this time.  "What happened?"

"Long story," Daniel linked his fingers through hers.  "Suffice to say I broke the rules and this is my punishment."

"Are you sorry?" Jess rubbed her thumb against his palm, the gesture was so familiar Daniel couldn't help but smile.

"No, I'm sure I did whatever I did for a good reason.  And there are compensations.  I never imagined I'd be able to do this again," he squeezed her hand.  "And you have no idea how frustrating it was not being able to pick up a book.  You're crying," he dropped his book and gathered her in his arms.  "Don't cry Jessie."

"I'm sorry," she gulped.  "I'm not myself just now, I think you're being back is more of a shock that I realised.  Jack keeps telling me to get a grip."

"Sounds like Jack, still not good with emotions?" Daniel grinned at her.  "Good old Jack."

Jess kissed him, just to remember how it felt.  "I'd forgotten how nice you are to hug."

"Likewise.  More than that, I'd forgotten the smell of your shampoo and the way that particular lock of hair," he curled it round his finger, "Never falls into place with all the rest no matter how hard you try to make it".  Daniel kissed her back and felt her draw slowly away from him.

"Best not," she said gently.

Daniel's face showed his lack of comprehension.  "I don't understand.  What's wrong Jessie, why is it best not?"

"You really don't remember?"

"Obviously.  Remember what?"

"Hey guys," Jack looked round the door.  "Room for one more?"

Jess knew by the slight inflection in his voice that he was still a touch insecure.  Well here was a situation she hadn't anticipated.  Daniel had no idea she and Jack…  Oh was this going to be awkward.

"You've been gone a long time Daniel," Jess began.

"I appreciate that.  Oh! You need more time to get used to my being back?  I understand completely and I'm sorry, I should have realised."

"No Daniel," Jess squeezed his hand.  "Everything is different now.  God, I wish you could remember, I wish I didn't have to do this right now."

"What Jess is trying and failing miserably to say," Jack stepped up to her side and she leant gratefully against him.  "Is that during your time as a big ball of energy you knew and were quite happy with the fact that Jess and I…"

Daniel looked at them both.  "You and Jess?  You and Jess are…?"

"We are," Jess said.

"Well," said Daniel.  "Well… wow.  And congratulations.  To both of you.  I have to say I didn't expect this."

 "Neither did we," said Jess.

"No, it was like being caught in the lights of an oncoming truck and unable to get away," added Jack.

"Nice analogy," Jess looked round at him.  "You romantic you."

"I try."  Jack grinned at her and she grinned back.

"Well," Daniel said recovering his poise nicely, "I'm happy for you, really I am."

"Gotta go teacher lady."

"Okay.  I'll be back soon Daniel, we have some serious catching up to do."

"I look forward to it."

"And I'm sorry about all the rest," she said again.

"Don't be.  I left you, I had no right to expect you to wait indefinitely.  It was a stupid position to put you in and I should be the one apologising."

"How 'bout you both stop now and we get to the restaurant before it closes," suggested Jack.

Much later Daniel received another visitor.  She stuck her head round the door and waved a bottle of Southern Comfort at him.  "I don't know about you but I'm in the mood to get hammered."

Daniel smiled warmly.  "Come on in Sam, I think I could warm to that idea."

Sam plonked the bottle on the table, broke the seal and poured two very generous shots into glasses she pulled out of her pockets.  "Here's to the happy couple," she raised a glass. 

"To Jack and Jess," Daniel touched his glass to hers, tossed the fiery liquid down his throat and held his glass out for a refill.  "Keep them coming Major."

"Right there with you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 28.      Jessie's big day**

For the millionth time Jack glanced at his watch.  A full thirty seconds had passed.  Somebody was messing with time he was convinced, it had to have been slowed down.  Teal'c appeared looking very natty in a suit, Jonas in tow grinning as always and wearing the traditional garb of his planet.  For one irrational moment Jack wanted so much to wipe the smile from his face.

"They have arrived O'Neill," said Teal'c.

"Okay."  Jack stood up, tucked his uniform cap under his arm, tugged his tie straight and braced his shoulders.  This was it.  Teal'c and Jonas slipped by through the closed door at the end of the corridor to join Janet, Sam, Cassie and General Hammond beyond.

Daniel stepped out of the car and held a hand out to Jess, which she gripped gratefully.  "It's still not too late," he joked.

"Don't," she warned.  "I want to be sick."

"That's just nerves."

"I still don't understand why he's insisting we do it," Jess complained, as she smoothed an invisible wrinkle from her dress.

"Jack is a man of very strong values, to him this is the logical next step."

"Old fashioned you mean."

"Something like that," he agreed with a wry smile.  "Ready?"

"No.  Daniel what am I doing, is this a huge mistake?  I'm pretty good at those."

Daniel touched her cheek, "You are doing the right thing.  Now you know as well as I do it doesn't pay to keep an air force Colonel waiting, they like everything to run to schedule."

"This I do know," she agreed.  "Thank you for doing… well everything."

"What are friends for."

"I'm ready," Jess squeezed his hand and together they climbed the steps leading to the heavy oak doors of City Hall.

First glimpse of Jack in full dress uniform and Jess felt all her fears dissolve.  God but he was so unbelievably handsome, and that uniform – oh boy did it do something for her.  Jack smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners and Jess smiled right back.  For a moment no one else existed, they had all they needed right there.  Jess ran her fingers over the rows of multi-coloured medal ribbons on his chest.  "I'd forgotten how devilishly handsome you look dressed as an airman," she told him.

"Looking pretty hot yourself teacher lady."  The silky deep gold material of her shift dress and matching accessories complimented her unusual colouring making her hair glow just the way he loved the best.

"Are you absolutely sure about this Jack, I mean absolutely?"

"I want to get a ring on your finger woman.  I want everyone to finally understand how serious I am about you, about us.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  As my wife."

"Okay," she replied faintly.  "I'm convinced."

"I should think so.  Shall we?"

Jess hooked her arm through his and together they took the last few steps toward their joint future.

If the wedding ceremony itself had been deliberately low key, the party afterwards was anything but.  Once again the base conference room had been lavishly decorated in honour of the occasion and the guest list read like a galactic good guys who's who.  Daniel had spent a deal of time with Jess trying his best to give her an overview of all the different races she was likely to meet.  It was one thing to see it all written down in Daniel's meticulous handwriting, a whole different ball game when they were all interacting together, moving, talking, laughing.  A daunting prospect.

Jess met Rya'c, Teal'c's son and a fine young man he was growing in to.  Rya'c was accompanied by Teal'c's former teacher Bra'tac, a forthright Jaffa very like Jack in lots of ways, a true soldier, and Rak'nor who once saved Teal'c from certain death and had since joined the ranks of rebel Jaffa.

The Tok'Ra were represented by Jacob, someone Jess would never tire of meeting.  With him were Malek, a rather serious young man who, in Jess's opinion needed to learn to lighten up some.  There was also a female Tok'Ra.  Daniel greeted her as Anise, Jack as Freya.  It was still the hardest thing, to remember just who it was you were speaking to when in conversation with a Tok'Ra.

Of course not everyone was from another planet.  The base was heavily represented, every single SG team currently earth bound had at least one member at the party, including to Jack's surprise Colonel Chekov, and even more unexpectedly a Dr Sveltlana Markov whom Jack had met during one of their more bizarre operations.

Major Davis, whom Jess had first been introduced to way back at her first base formal, a lifetime ago, was working the crowd.  A real smoothie, almost as slick as the politicians it was his job to keep sweet and off the SG's case.  He was also a demon dancer and vehement in his support of the SGC and the work they carried out.

It was Cassie who drew Jess's attention to another of the mystery guests.

"I think Sam has a date," she said.

"Really?  Where?" asked Jess.

"As far from Jacob as she can be without actually leaving."

"I see her," and Jess did.  Sam's head was bent close to a man with dark blond hair cut conservatively short but not military, lots of freckles, dark well fitting suit and an air of someone used to being in charge.  He and Sam looked very comfortable together.  "They look cosy."

"I wonder who he is," mused Cassie.  "And why we've never met him before."

"His name is Barrett," Jack spoke over the girl's shoulder causing both her and Jess to jump as if caught doing something wrong.  "Agent Barrett to be exact.  NID.  Can't trust 'em.  Spooks.  Bad guys."

"He doesn't look bad," said Cass.  "He looks…"

"Rather cute," Jess finished.  "Not a bit bad."

"Yeah, well I'm reserving judgement.  Wanna dance Mrs O'Neill?"

"Love to Mr O'Neill."

"Excellent."

As soon as they were out of earshot Jess asked something she'd been itching to know.  "What's the story with you, Daniel and the Tok'Ra lady, the one with the eye catching breasts?"

"Has she?" Jack tried and failed miserably to look surprised.

"Spill fly boy."

"She had the hots for me, her snake had the hots for Daniel.  Creepy situation.  She kissed me once.  Scared the hell out of me."

"A gorgeous woman like that has the hots for you and it's scary?" Jess laughed at him.

"The hots for both of us.  Simultaneously."

"Poor you."

"Too right."

"And how many more sexy ladies are there roaming the universe who have either kissed or been kissed by you Colonel O'Neill?"

"Not as many as Daniel, it's the hair you know, the grey tends to put them off."

"Really?  I think I need to know more details."

Jonas appeared at Jack's shoulder, saving him from further embarrassment.  "Dr Jackson asked if you might join him for a moment Colonel.  There's someone here to see you.  And if I may I'll finish your dance."

"Knock yourself out.  I'll be back soon Jess."

"Go.  Meet and greet.  I'll find you," she kissed him and sent him on his way.

Jonas's dancing style was a little stilted.  "I'm sorry," he apologised.  "I'm still learning."

"You're doing fine," Jess assured him.  So what have you been filling your time with of late Mr Quinn?"

"Since Dr Jackson returned to SG1?  Plenty.  My services are used by other SG teams, there's always a great deal of research to do here, cataloguing and recording finds.  I'm very busy."

"You don't mind?  Daniel replacing you I mean?"

"How could I mind, he's back where he belongs."

"So who has Jack gone to meet?"

"A woman.  I don't know her."

"Intriguing."

"I'm sure she's just another guest, one you'll meet very soon."

"Oh I will, count on it.  Ow, toes Jonas!"

And she did.  As soon as the last note died, Jess thanked Jonas for the dance and went to find her husband.  He was just inside the door, talking to a woman and younger man.  Both were wearing homespun clothes, old fashioned on Earth by a few hundred years.  Both looked uncomfortable.  Jess joined them.

"Hey Colonel."

"Jess," he turned to her without dropping the other woman's hands which, Jess noted, were holding tightly to his.  "Meet Laira and her son Garan.  Old friends from a world called Edora."

"Hello," Jess smiled at them both.  The return looks were a mix of caution (him) and sadness (her).  "Edora.  I don't think Daniel mentioned it in my crash course on our guests today.  Is it a nice place?"

"It's home," Laira replied.

"It is a good place," added Garan.

"Sure is," agreed Jack.

"You sound like you know it well," Jess said to Jack.

"I got stuck there.  Long story.  It was only Carter's brain and Teal'c's brawn that got me home.  In the end."

"Jack was a great comfort to my people," Laira told Jess, reluctantly dropping his hands.  "Our village had been all but destroyed by the fire rain.  Jack worked tirelessly to help us rebuild our homes, plant our crops.  He became a good friend to my people.  And to Garan.  And to me.  Fair day and be well Jack.  Garan, it is time to return home."

"But you've only just arrived," said Jess.  "Stay a little while at least."

"We should not have come at all.  I'm sorry.  Goodbye Jack, and I wish you both… happiness."  Laira's voice threatened to break.  Garan placed a protective arm about her and scowled at Jack.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean… aw hell you know I would never hurt you," Jack protested.

"I know," Laira assured him.  "Fare you well Jack."

"And to you Laira."

Once they were gone Jack turned to Jess and pulled her into a fierce embrace.  Fingers ran through her hair, he breathed in deeply her subtle fragrance, enjoying her soft warm curves in his arms.

"Laira was…" he struggled over the words.

"No," Jess touched her lips to his.  "You don't need to explain anything to me.  We both have a past.  She is in your past?"

"Long passed.  I thought I was never coming home.  I had to accept my life was on Edora."

"And they found a way to rescue you.  For that I am very glad.  Remind me to thank Sam _again_."

"One of SG10 mentioned the wedding to Laira during a routine visit and she wanted to know for sure."

"Forget it Jack.  I have no need to know.  You work every day with a man who I used to wake up alongside.  We both have pasts.  I don't want yours.  What I do want," she kissed him again.  "Is your future."

"It's all yours."

"Good."

"So how are you feeling now?" Daniel asked as he swept her round the deserted dance floor in the familiar setting of the base official function room.

"Pretty damn fine thank you for asking."

"Glad you went through with it?"

"Delighted.  Jessica Elizabeth O'Neill, sounds right don't you think?"          

"I do indeed.  You suit being married."

"I can't remember it ever feeling this good before."  Across the room Jess caught Jack's eye and the smile he gave her warmed her through, there was a thrill in her blood, a promise of what was to come when they were finally alone.  "Thanks for the dance Daniel, I have to…"

"I know, I saw."

"Lord," she blushed.  "That obvious?"

"More than you could possibly know.  Go then, enjoy that smile."

"This is all your fault you know," Jess tapped the end of his nose.  "If you hadn't walked on to campus that day, looking so damned sexy I wouldn't have wound up here today."

"Married to one of my closest friends.  I really must be more careful where I walk."

"Something like that."  Jess kissed him fondly.  "I love you Daniel Jackson."

"Get away with you Mrs O'Neill."  Daniel watched her go and thought he was hiding his regret remarkably well.

Marriage was a huge step and coming so completely out of the blue the way it had had surprised them all.  Over night Jack had got it into his head he wanted to marry Jess and that as they say was that.  Daniel would never dream of saying anything but he was pretty sure the suddenness of the decision was due in no small part to his return.  He knew, however, from the time he had spent with Jack and Jess he was never going to be a threat to their relationship.  Because what they had was – magical.  A true union even before the day's ceremony.  But if it was what Jack needed to be absolutely sure in his own mind then so be it.

Jess covered the distance to Jack with deliberate slowness, enjoying the heat in his gaze and allowing the tension to move up a notch or two.  The tips of their fingers touched, there was a blinding flash of hard white light and Colorado Springs was gone.  "What the…?" Jess stuttered.

"It's okay," Jack breathed in her ear, his arms the only thing stopping her from falling.

"Where are we?" she demanded.  "What happened to our party?"

"It's still there.  We, however, are on board Thor's ship."

Another burst of white light and there before them stood a familiar small grey alien.  Well familiar to Jack at least.  "Hey Thor, good to see you."

"And you O'Neill.  I am here to pass on my congratulations."

"Your?  Oh, you heard," Jack looked pleased.  "Thor, meet Jess, my wife, Mrs O'Neill."

"Mrs O'Neill," Thor held out his hand very formally and a stunned Jess took it.  "It is a pleasure to meet you at last.  Colonel O'Neill did not do you justice with his description."

"Thor, was that Asgard flattery?" there was laughter in Jack's voice.  "I'm impressed."

"It's good to meet you too Thor," Jess chose to ignore Jack.  "I never imagined it would be possible, I mean, not being military and all that.  Sorry, I'm babbling."

"Please accept this small gift," a small stone materialised in his free hand and he placed it in hers.  Jess looked closely at it, it was covered with tiny intricate carving, reminding her strongly of Viking runes.

"Thank you.  It's beautiful."

"According to legend the spell cast by the words is designed to keep you both strong and well all your lives."

"Couldn't run the budget up to a ship then?" joked Jack.  "Oh well, guess we'll have to make do with the one we've got."

"You have a ship?" Jess stared at him.  "Like this?  Jack O'Neill, what else don't I know that I ought to know?"

"Nothing, nothing," he replied hastily.  "Well thanks for stopping by old buddy, but we really ought to get back to our party."

"Can you join us for a while?" Jess asked.

"Unfortunately I cannot," said Thor.  "Perhaps there will be another occasion when I can indeed remain."

"I hope there is," Jess smiled at him.  "I would like to get to know you, Commander Thor."

"And I you Mrs O'Neill."

"Hang on one second Thor," Jack called out as Thor motioned for them to be transported.  "There's one thing I want Jess to see before we go."  He led her across the room to a window and there, in the distance, was a small blue green planet.

Jess was silent for a time, then turned to Jack.  "Thank you."

"Like it?"

"Love it.  You see pictures taken from space but it's not the same, not the same at all.  I think I understand a little better."

"Understand?" Jack asked.

"Why you do what you do.  Why you risk everything to make sure it stays just the way it is."

"Thought you might.  Okay Thor, time to beam us outta here."

The party seemed to be swinging along merrily despite the absence of the principal guests.

"There was a time when Thor pulling a stunt like that would have all the alarms bells ringing round here," Jack told her.  "How standards have fallen."

"How do the rest of the world's tracking stations not pick up his ship?" Jess wanted to know.

"Because the Asgard are crafty little buggers with very sophisticated cloaking devices.  They've been keeping an eye on us for centuries."

"Why?"

"Waiting for us to become advanced enough to deal with them."

"And we are?"

"Kinda jumped the gun a little but yeah, pretty much.  Now," Jack linked her fingers through his.  "What was it we were planning before Thor gate crashed our party?"  Jess let her face say it all.  "Oh yes," he grinned.  "I was thinking the very same myself."

"I know you were," she laughed.  "Even Daniel picked up the vibe.  When are you going to let me in on the big honeymoon secret?"

"Soon," he promised.  "I just need to make sure a couple of things are done and we'll be ready to roll."

"Things?" Jess asked.

"Trust me Mrs O'Neill."

Jack was gone less than five minutes and when he returned Janet and Sam closed in on Jess.

"Ready for your surprise?" asked Sam.  "Packed plenty of bikini's?"

"You're going to love it," said Janet.

"What have you guys been up to?" demanded Jess.

"If we told you that it would spoil the surprise.  Let's go," Janet propelled her toward the door, Sam and Jack falling in behind.  Along the corridor to the elevator, a swipe of a pass card and they were moving again.  Down!  Large red numbers flashed up on the display.  24, 25, 26, 27, 28.

"Twenty eight?" now Jess was really puzzled.  "Isn't this the ultra ultra secret level?"

"You've just been standing in an alien ship Jess," Jack pointed out.  "Doesn't get much more secret than that.  After you ladies."

They all stepped out and Jess allowed herself to be guided down more corridors until they reached a large solid looking door.  Again it was activated by a swipe card and opened noisily on its runners.  And then…

"Oh my God!" gasped Jess.  "Is that what I think it is?"

"If you think it's the gate then the answer would be yes," replied Sam.

"Jack O'Neill what exactly are you up to?" Jess turned on him.  "Explain."

"I picked out a nice quiet, uninhabited planet with an excellent beach for our honeymoon.  Can't offer you five star accommodation but it's not bad."

"I'm going through the gate?" 

"Well I hope so, won't be as much fun on my own," he said.  "It's a piece of cake Jess, trust me."

The door opened again and in came Daniel, Jonas and Teal'c; all grinning at her stunned expression.  Jess looked again at the shimmering ring.  Piece of cake.  Yeah, right.

"Time to go," Jack touched her arm.

Jess turned first to Sam and hugged her.  "Thank you."

"Have a good time."

Jess leant closer and whispered in the other woman's ear, "Agent Barrett, cute."

Sam laughed self-consciously, "Yeah, well, we'll see."

Next came Janet.  "You have a good time, doctor's orders," she told Jess.

"How can I possibly not."

Teal'c and Jonas both kissed her cheek and wished her well.  That only left Daniel.  Jess buried her face in his neck as his arms held her fiercely.  "You're the best Daniel Jackson."

"Love you too Jessie O'Neill.  See you when you get back.  Try and find time to get yourself a tan."

"I'll try," Jess smiled wickedly.  "And when I get back I'll tell you all about the little fantasy you fixed in my head when you were still ascended."

"Fantasy?" he looked puzzled.

"It involved a hammock."

"A hammock?"

"See you soon."

"Hey," he complained as she drew away.  "You can't leave it there."

"You bet I can.  See you when I get back."

"I'll be right here, waiting for you to explain that one."

"Explain what?" asked Jack, curious.

"An incident involving a hammock."

"Ah.  It just so happens that I know there's a hammock where we're headed, I fitted it myself."

"Excellent.  Show me."

"Ma'am."

As they walked up the ramp the small crowd threw confetti and it rained down on the happy pair like multi-coloured petals in a spring breeze.  Laughing with delight, Jack's hand holding firmly to hers Jess set off on the journey of a lifetime, due to last a lifetime.

Did she enjoy it?

What do you think?

_Feedback would be very much appreciated._


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